


beast

by kusuriuri



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Antinatalism, Bottom Zeke Yeager, Character Study, Daddy Issues, M/M, Praise Kink, Sub Zeke, Zeke is a very fragile person
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 19:34:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29656239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kusuriuri/pseuds/kusuriuri
Summary: A study of Zeke's character through moments of his life.Zeke physically shuddered, toes curling. He loved it when they put their hands there, held him in place, like a collar, like theyownedhim."It's the daddy issues."
Relationships: Eren Yeager/Zeke Yeager, Levi Ackerman/Erwin Smith, Levi Ackerman/Zeke Yeager, Zeke Yeager/General Calvi, Zeke Yeager/Original Character(s)
Comments: 20
Kudos: 117





	1. praise me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This fic is just me studying Zeke's character and is very self-indulgent. Canon Zeke is definitely gay-coded to me and I also think the only ships that make sense for him are with mob characters/original characters. Maybe Zeke has a one-sided attraction to Levi, but it's not mutual and Levi hates his guts, as is canon. The Eren/Zeke is very one-sided as well. Zeke is definitely a sub and a bottom. He is very fucked up also, but that's canon too so.  
>   
> Warning for some homophobic and ableist slurs in this chapter.

His first sexual experience was at fourteen.

It was an older boy from mandatory warrior training, a boy who liked to bully Zeke for being weak and slow and stupid. Klaus was bigger than most of the other boys and stronger as well, in the latter half of puberty with his body filling out with muscle, while Zeke was still skinny and small. 

It was after training finished and they were heading home when Klaus tripped him and shoved at him roughly behind one of the buildings, where none of the instructors could see. Magath may be strict towards Eldians, but even so, he wouldn't tolerate bullying if he saw it.

Klaus knocked his books out of his hands, and when Zeke bent down to pick them up, he pushed Zeke into the dirt as well.

"What do you need books for? You're fucking stupid anyway."

Zeke grimaced, his uniform now covered in dirt, and pushed himself back up, saying nothing. There was blood on his knees. He was used to this by now, an under-achiever in every aspect. But no reaction would bore his bullies eventually.

Klaus didn't allow him to get up, grabbing at his hair and pushing him downwards into the dirt again.

"You're dead last at running drills and at written tests too because you're a retard."

Zeke attempted to pull his hair out of his grasp, gritting his teeth. Maybe Klaus was in a bad mood today; Magath had been particularly harsh. But Klaus' grip tightened, twisting roughly, and pain shot through Zeke's skull as he cried out weakly.

Klaus wrinkled his nose at the sound, sneering at the wavy platinum strands looped through his fingers. "What's with your stupid hair anyway? You think you're a fucking prince or something?"

The blond swallowed, fighting back tears, his hands trying to pry Klaus' away from his scalp. Klaus jerked his hair roughly in response, and Zeke whimpered, biting into his own lip.

_Prince. Ha. If only he knew._

"What's wrong, crybaby? You gonna cry like a fucking fag?" Klaus' expression twisted into a deeper sneer, digging his fingers in. He seemed to study the wavy strands for a short second, the softness only irritating him more. "Fucking pretty boy." The words were muttered under his breath, spit into Zeke's face, as if the thought disgusted him. "You're always crying like a fucking girl and you even look like one too."

Zeke's fingers scratched at Klaus' hand, digging into the skin. His scalp was burning. He mouthed something hoarsely, forcing his voice out.

"Huh?" Klaus jerked at his hair again. "You wanna say something, girly boy?"

"I said, I'm not a girl...!" His voice trembled, tears spilling out before he could do anything to stop them. "Let go...!"

Klaus laughed cruelly, in that way only children can, watching the tears slide down his cheeks. He seemed to search Zeke's face, as if he wasn't even sure what for. His smile dropped as Zeke just cried silently, face scrunching up helplessly.

"Yeah, you are." His voice sounded different than before, lower, but Zeke was only fourteen and didn't really know why. "You're a little girly boy."

Klaus jerked him forward by his scalp towards the front of his uniform pants and Zeke cried out, eyes opening. He scratched at Klaus' hand in his hair, looking up into his face in confusion, tears ruddying his cheeks.

Klaus' pupils were dilated, shiftily checking his surroundings before unzipping his fly.

Zeke had seen other boys' penises when changing clothes or at the public bath, but never like this. He was bigger than Zeke, a darker colour, stroking himself as he pulled himself out of his underwear.

He pulled Zeke forward by his hair and forced his head down, telling him to suck it or he would beat him up and break his arm. 

So Zeke obeyed, trembling.

The tears were sliding silently down his cheeks when his mouth closed around him. He licked awkwardly, unsure of what to do, and Klaus scowled and kicked him in the side, pulling at his scalp. His other hand held Zeke's jaw firmly in place so he wouldn't move or bite down, guiding him to bob slowly up and down. Zeke was too cowardly to try something like biting, but Klaus didn't know that.

Zeke will never forget - the memory still rises in his mind occasionally even more than a decade later. The moment when Klaus cradled his jaw almost gently, and when Zeke looked up at him he heard him mumble, "S'fucking pretty," sliding his fingers over the tears on his cheeks.

Zeke felt his own cock twitch inside his pants.

Then Klaus' breath hitched and he came all over Zeke's face.

There was a silence after that, the sound of birds cawing and Klaus panting, taking a moment to collect himself. Zeke erupted into coughs as Klaus finally let go of his hair, and he keeled over, spluttering and gagging onto the dirt. He panted weakly, squinting up at Klaus and coughing again, his lips bright red and swollen. 

Klaus looked alarmed, breathing heavily as he stared down at Zeke with wide eyes, at his white uniform caked with dirt and blood, his blond hair ruffled and wet with sweat, cum splattered over his angelic face.

The boy swallowed, wheezing, and fumbled with his zipper, fingers trembling. He muttered something quickly before shoving Zeke to the ground again, snatching his bag and stumbling away hurriedly, out from behind the buildings.

Zeke stayed on the ground for a little while, looking down at himself, the heavy, sick feeling sinking in. His knees and scalp were stinging and he swallowed the lump in his throat. He touched his face hesitantly, the stickiness that clung there, and he felt tears well up and lips tremble at the feeling of utter _shame_. He fumbled in his pocket mindlessly for his handkerchief to wipe desperately at the cum on his face.

He finally picked himself up from the ground, legs stiff, dusting off his grubby uniform awkwardly. He didn't have a mirror and he hoped he had cleaned his face properly. His grandma would scold him for his dirty uniform, so he needed to make up a story, beginning the walk home.

He pulled at the fabric over his crotch uncomfortably, toes curling in his shoes and a flush spreading over his cheeks, deciding right then that he would wash his own uniform himself.

The inside of his pants were sticky, having cum in his pants at the same moment Klaus had released on his face.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Zeke met with Ksaver about a week later as he always did, throwing the baseball back and forth.

"I think I like boys."

Ksaver blinked, looked mildly surprised and amused, adjusting his grip on the ball before throwing it back.

"Oh? Do you have a crush on someone?" Ksaver smiled easily, eyes crinkling. "A boy from training, maybe?"

Zeke's cheeks flushed pink and Ksaver chuckled. He thought of him as his own son and couldn't be happier that Zeke trusted him enough to tell him something so personal, flushing with pride. He would support and love him no matter what.

Zeke fiddled with the ball in his mitt. "He's older than me. I... I touched his..." he fumbled, pausing, embarrassed to say the words out loud. He mumbled it softly, speaking to the ground rather than Ksaver. "He used my mouth to... you know." He flushed darker, winding up and throwing the ball without looking properly. "I've never done anything like that before."

Ksaver almost tripped over his own feet as he lunged to catch the ball, eyes wide in surprise. He straightened up and rolled the baseball in his glove, adjusting his glasses. Zeke was only fourteen still. Of course, he knew children would find a way to experiment no matter what, but couldn't help but feel Zeke was much too young. He swallowed, clearing his throat awkwardly. _He said he was an older boy._ "Zeke... did you..." Ksaver was aware of how Zeke was treated by his peers, the bullying he received. "...He didn't make you, did he? Because that's not okay."

Zeke looked up at Ksaver, then at the wall behind him, the vines creeping up slowly as if to swallow it whole. He thought of Klaus and his strong shoulders, how he had shot up in height recently all of sudden. He thought of how it felt when Klaus cradled his jaw with his hands so warm and called him _pretty_ , before pulling his hair, kicking him in the side and shoving him face-first into the dirt. 

Zeke stared at the ground instead of at Ksaver, nails digging into his palm.

"I wanted to."

Ksaver swallowed. 

He knew how starved Zeke was for attention, how hard it was for him to say no, how easy it would be for others to emotionally manipulate him. His chest felt tight, a desperate clenching that he needed to protect this fragile boy, but knowing there was only so much he could do before his 13 year lifespan was over. 

So Ksaver nodded slowly, throwing the ball back to him.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


At eighteen, Zeke sat up in the bed staring boredly out the window, at the ships drifting past in the harbour. He struck a match and lit his cigarette, not bothering to cover his naked form.

The muscular man next to him in bed leaned back with his hands behind his head, a twisted smile of pity on his lips.

"That was your first time? That's pretty fucked up."

Zeke snorted, blowing smoke out of his mouth. "Tell me about it."

He turned towards his bed companion, hooking a leg over his hips and climbing onto his reclined lap, taking another drag from his cigarette.

The man, Jannik, wasn't Eldian, but he wasn't Marleyan either, so he supposed that's why it didn't matter they were sleeping together, although they weren't advertising it. If they had noticed, his Marleyan superiors had never said anything. It probably also helped that Zeke wasn't a woman and there was no chance of pregnancy; of bringing a pitiful half-Eldian child to this world of pain and suffering.

Jannik was an engineer from a neighbouring nation, probably more than ten years older than him. Zeke wasn't really sure though, nor did he particularly care. He had dark hair and blue eyes, a strong body and huge dick. That was enough for Zeke.

Jannik smirked, hands on Zeke's thighs to hold him in place, eyes raving over his body. Zeke loved to be looked at like that. Like he was something to desire.

"I think it was the praise." Zeke leaned over to the nightstand where his glasses rested neatly, tapping his cigarette into the ash tray. "He called me pretty. I wasn't used to people praising me like that." He pushed a hand through his messy locks, out of his face. "I liked it."

Jannik hummed, his large, warm hands sliding between Zeke's legs, firm strokes that made his spine go taut and legs tremble. "Mmm, you _would_ like that." He smiled, kneading Zeke's thigh with his other hand. "You should see yourself when I compliment you while fucking you. You make this _face_... and you cum so fast. I barely even touch you."

The blond grimaced, bringing his cigarette to his lips. "I don't think I would want to see that."

The older man chuckled, sitting up abruptly and making Zeke's eyes go wide in surprise. He balanced him with hands on his waist, kissing Zeke's neck and putting a large, warm hand around his jaw. 

Zeke physically shuddered, toes curling. He loved it when they put their hands there, held him in place, like a collar, like they _owned_ him.

"It's the daddy issues," Jannik teased, fingers reaching further back between Zeke's legs, circling languidly and pushing into the slick; warm and wet from where he had finished just minutes before.

Zeke snorted, leaning his head back and exposing his neck to the older man's teeth, the blood pulsing in his ears. 

Grisha's voice calling him a _good boy_ invaded his mind, but he shut it down quickly, moaning as Jannik's fingers found his prostate and rubbed, pushing him onto his back.

Zeke lay there, cigarette resting between his teeth, as Jannik pressed wet kisses slowly down his chest, down further to where his cock was slowly rising in interest.

At eighteen years, his dick had a mind of its own, eager for pleasure even if his brain was not. He swallowed the lump in his throat and pulled his forearm over his eyes, as if to hide from himself, from his own thoughts.

He moaned again as Jannik's lips closed around him, his own lips twitching into a humourless laugh. 

_Daddy issues._

And in his mind, Grisha laughed at him too.


	2. taint me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zeke remembers the day he ate Ksaver.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is absolutely not consensual and is actually really really gross, but I think very fitting for Zeke's character. Please read at your own risk
> 
> Warning for non-con and drug use

He lost his virginity officially when he was seventeen.

It was the day he ate Ksaver and took on his memories.

His mind was clouded, the despair setting in as fragments of memories fought inside him. The people present for the ceremony were high-ranking Marleyan officials and people of noble class with ties to the military, applauding him as he stumbled from the steam. One of them was a fat, ugly old man that Zeke recognized, a rich noble who funded the Public Security Authorities and procured his fortune through bribes. He came to headquarters on occasion and witnessed the warrior candidates training.

Zeke had first met Bauer when he was seven, turning his parents in to the PSA. He sweat heavily and had fat, hairy fingers with tacky gemstone rings adorning them. His gaze had been uncomfortable, and he had placed his hands on seven-year-old Zeke in a way that made him feel wrong.

Ksaver told him to stay as far away from Bauer as possible, because he was not a nice man, and Zeke had listened. Over the years as he got older, sometimes Bauer came around to headquarters and watched them train, and Zeke could feel his eyes on him. He told Zeke he should visit his mansion, where he had food and alcohol and could ask for anything he wanted. He could get Zeke permission to leave the internment zone with him. But Zeke hated his eyes that felt like they were undressing him, despite the fact he was still a child. He would decline politely, ducking his head, because Ksaver had warned him about people like him.

But the night after he ate Ksaver, Zeke felt lost and alone. He felt like he was walking in a dream, unable to think straight, and when Bauer took him aside, away from the safety of Magath, he followed aimlessly.

Bauer bragged about his mansion as usual, told him about the expensive wine he had acquired in celebration of Zeke's inheritance. He could drink as much as he wanted, Bauer wouldn't tell anyone. He could order whatever food he wanted. It was a celebration. Zeke was such a talented boy, so loyal, such a good-looking one, he had been watching him since he was seven and knew that more than anyone.

Zeke wasn't truly listening, looking down at Bauer's fat fingers circled around his thin wrist. There was a buzzing in his ears and he couldn't think, Ksaver's memories and his own bleeding together and throbbing in his head.

And then he nodded and quietly said, _okay._

Bauer's house really was a mansion, situated in the upper-class area of Liberio. He ushered Zeke into his expensive carriage and slipped the internment zone guards a bribe, informing them he would be taking Zeke for the night and would return him in the morning.

Zeke sat on the elegant red sofa in a daze, looking around at the marble statues and expensive paintings. He had never experienced such luxury before, servants and maids emerging from the curtains and bringing them plates of food and bottles of wine before disappearing again. Bauer sat next to him, too close, his hand running nauseating circles on Zeke's inner thigh. The blond kept his head down and ignored it, trying to think through the pulsing in his head and gulping down his wine. 

He had never drank before, didn't know he was drinking it too fast. It tasted sweet and made his eyes droop, a flush reddening his skin and mind going hazy. Bauer kept refilling his glass.

The older man took a tiny package out from his pocket, lining up the white powdery substance on the table and snorting it up his nose. Zeke laughed at the sound, not knowing what the substance was, but feeling giddy from the wine. Bauer gestured for Zeke to do the same, stroking his hair like one would to a cat.

The blond had no idea what was happening, the alcohol buzzing through his veins. But the feel of the man's hands in his hair was gentle, petting him the way Ksaver used to. So Zeke copied as best as he could, snorting a line and sneezing, and Bauer encouraged him to do a second line as well.

His memories were not as clear from that point onwards.

He remembered Bauer pushing him down onto the soft cushions beneath him, his mind delirious. He could see shapes dancing in his vision, the room was lit by candlelight and it swam before his eyes, colours and shadows and Ksaver's memories mixing together. He felt himself smiling suddenly, but he couldn't remember why.

Bauer was panting grossly and unbuttoning Zeke's clothes, his hot breath fanning out over bare skin, making him curl inwards in confusion, unsure of what was happening. But Bauer held his limbs, pulling his clothes down and away until he was only left in his underwear. Zeke was confused, kicking out weakly in an attempt to protest, but his words came out slurred and jumbled, thick on his tongue.

Bauer stroked his hand through Zeke's hair again, soothing him, his other hand circling and pinching Zeke's nipple. "Sshhh, it's okay, be a good boy." He fondled Zeke's genitals through his underwear. "Look how wet you are." 

He was. Everything felt good, like he was floating high above the clouds, far, far away from here.

He whimpered, limbs shaking. He _was_ a good boy, he always tried to be.

He had touched the older boy, Klaus, between his legs, been coerced to suck and stroke, but he had never been touched in return. It felt weird and scary and _good_ , his pupils dilated and head a mess.

Bauer pulled the waistband of his underwear down and off and Zeke was left completely exposed, his cock standing up in half-confusion and pleasure. The older man was licking and sucking at his nipples, dipping his hand into some kind of oil. Zeke felt dizzy, unsure of what was happening, when Bauer started stroking Zeke's member firmly. His body reacted immediately, spine arching and cock hardening completely into the pleasure.

"Such a sweet boy, such a pretty, pretty boy," Bauer told him. "Do you touch yourself here?"

Zeke couldn't think straight, eyes lidding and drool escaping the corner of his mouth. He couldn't remember what he was doing here, but he knew he was a good boy, so he answered the question asked of him.

"Yes, sir..."

Bauer groaned, pinching Zeke's nipples and circling the sticky wetness at the head of his dick. "How much? Are you a horny little boy?"

"Every..." Zeke whimpered and bit his lip, gripping the cushions beneath him and legs shaking uncontrollably. "Everyday..."

Bauer groaned again, voice breathless and thick with want. " _Oh_ , such a naughty boy." His hand slid downwards over his balls, to his perineum, and stroked back and forth, making Zeke's breath hitch and toes curl. "You love to feel good, don't you? Such a sweet boy." Then he went further to his puckered hole and Zeke's entire body went jelly-limbed, hiccupping strangely. Bauer's voice was thick and heavy, panting with excitement as he rubbed at Zeke's hole. "So small and tight."

Zeke broke the skin of his lip with his teeth, confusion blending with pleasure and feeling delirious. He felt a sob threaten to erupt in his chest, tears welling up, and Bauer spread his legs and pushed his oil-slicked fingers inside. 

Zeke couldn't breathe, his cock standing straight up against his stomach, trembling and leaking heavily, bobbing as his thighs shook. The older man was disgusting, panting heavily and too aroused to wait any longer and stretch him more than the two fingers he had inside him. He unzipped his trousers and pulled himself out, spreading Zeke's legs wider, and pushed the fat head of his member against Zeke's entrance.

It hurt, Zeke was sure it did, but the drugged-up haze in his mind dulled the pain to a steady throbbing until it hurt in a good way. Bauer started thrusting immediately; short, desperate thrusts that made Zeke hiccup and his toes curl, his cock twitching and releasing pre-come.

The older man was stroking Zeke's hair again, and he felt tears spill over, but he wasn't sure why he was crying. It felt so good and he could feel himself smiling, so why were there tears running down his cheeks?

"I bet you can come just from this, huh? Sweet boy. Without even touching you." He twisted Zeke's nipples and stroked his hair. "Such a good boy."

Zeke's eyes rolled back as Ksaver's memories flicked through his mind, his own memories blending with them. His teeth started chattering as he remembered Grisha calling him a _good boy_ and patting his head when he was five, and his legs spread wide open started to twitch with pleasure, like he was a dog going through heat. His tongue lolled, cock bobbing, and when Bauer hit that spot, Zeke's breath caught on a sob that sounded like "Papa". He covered his face as his dick twitched and spurted white onto his stomach, hitting himself in the chin. 

The feeling of ecstasy was unlike anything he had experienced and he simultaneously wanted to puke. His fingers trembled, swallowing bile at the thought of his father and for tainting his memories of Ksaver. He breathed loudly through his mouth, crying silently as he shook and tugged and pulled at his own hair.

Bauer moaned, "Oh, good boy," and Zeke blubbed and whimpered, body giving little shakes and cock spurting again, and once more. The older man kept thrusting, grip pressing bruises into Zeke's thighs, and he touched the mess of cum on his stomach, rubbing it into the boy's nipples and pressing nauseating kisses into his neck.

He made Zeke come twice more before he finally finished, deep inside. The boy was a mess of drool and come and was barely conscious, mumbling and asking for his glasses, hickies and bite marks and bruises on his skin. He passed out to the feeling of Bauer rubbing soothing circles into his scalp, his fucked up mind confusing it with Ksaver's hand, tears sliding down his cheek.

He woke up the next day feeling unbearably sore, head pounding from the alcohol and whatever the white substance was. His glasses were next to him, and he clutched them to his chest. His regenerative abilities had healed him during his sleep and as he remembered the night before, he promptly leaned over and threw up.

Bauer gave him a ride in his carriage back to the gate of the internment zone, but didn't take him further for the sake of discretion. He handed Zeke a fat envelope full of cash, promising to see him again soon, and Zeke swallowed and accepted it silently, feeling just as lost as yesterday and twice as fucked up in the head.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


He didn't like to talk about it, even to bed companions like Jannik who wouldn't judge him for it. When asked about his first time, Zeke would instead talk about the rough young boy from military training who taught him how to give head. He thought it was funny, looking back on it now, in a fucked up way. But Bauer was a whole new level of fucked up, even for him. Ksaver had warned him not to go near that pervert and Zeke had gone and done it anyway. He was ashamed of it even now a decade later, and even though he had been young and was taken advantage of, he still felt he was to blame. He was a fucked up person who was asking to be hurt.

So naturally, like the fucked up person he was, he leaned in to it and asked for more.

He visited Bauer once or twice a year, each time going home with an envelope full of cash in his pocket. Zeke found it funny and ironic that this fat, stupid pervert was unknowingly funding Anti-Marleyan Volunteers and Eldian Restorationists. Bauer gave him anything he asked for. Zeke often asked for herbal drugs for his cigarettes - he liked to lace it with his tobacco. It eased the shaking in his fingers, made it easier to lie to his comrades without feeling a thing. When he smoked it he finally got some proper rest, sinking into deep sleep and escaping the terrible dreams.

Bauer also gave him harder drugs when he asked for them; at his age he now knew what the white substance was. It gave him a euphoria like nothing else and allowed him to forget everything, letting Bauer fuck him silly. 

It especially took away the shame when Bauer pet his hair, made his toes curl and voice break, then cum with a choked, " _Daddy_."  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I'm a Zeke stan, it's just that him being self-destructive and masochistic fits so well


	3. worship me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zeke reflects on meeting Yelena.

Ksaver told Zeke before he died to find someone he could entrust with the Founding Titan; an Eldian he could trust, who could understand his desire for a peaceful end of his people. But looking around, there was no one.

The only other Eldians physically trained and capable of inheriting a titan in the first place were the other warrior candidates, but not only were they much too young to understand, they were also loyal to Marley.

Reiner, Bertholdt, Annie and Marcel were impressive, much better than their predecessors, according to Magath. But they were preparing to be sent to Paradis within a year. Magath thought it ridiculous to send four pre-pubescent children on a mission such as this one, muttering about the stupidity of the upper brass and General Calvi. Zeke agreed. But such was the fate of Eldians. They would suffer no matter what, and Zeke hoped that they could at least die quickly instead of slowly and painfully. He didn’t expect that the four of them would make it back with the Founding Titan, but if they did, their loyalty to Marley and their families would prevent them from siding with him and his goals.

Porco and Pieck were left behind with him on Marley but they weren't any more suitable than the other four. Pieck seemed to be wary of him, almost like she could see through his fake camaraderie, could tell he was constantly lying but not sure what about. She was too smart and Zeke was careful to keep a distance, the friendly fakeness he was so used to putting on. Porco was not as perceptive, but he had a fierce loyalty to his brother and was permanently resentful for not being chosen as the Armored Titan. He didn't seem like he would be open to Zeke's plan either.

After the Paradis mission began, those left behind on Marley were shipped off to claim and conquer neighbouring nations, battle after battle on land and sea. Zeke felt like he was constantly repeating the days of fighting at war, and lying on his side on an operating table with Marleyan doctors extracting his spinal fluid. Vial after vial after vial. He regenerated quickly but that didn't make it any less painful. 

The doctors called him a miracle, a 'Wonder Boy', the first Beast Titan throughout Marleyan history who had the power to control mindless titans. Almost like he was of royal blood, they said. _If only they knew._ Zeke kept his mouth shut, embracing the nickname. 

General Calvi liked it especially. As the head in charge of the entire Marleyan military brass, he was an ignorant fool, hiding behind his newspapers instead of experiencing the horrors of war first hand. He liked Zeke, trusted him ever since he betrayed his own parents at the tender age of seven, proving his loyalty to the Motherland. 

He was _very_ fond of Zeke, and of his new nickname. 

"Wonder Boy," would roll off his tongue as he thrusted the toy languidly between Zeke's legs, a riding whip sliding down his body and leaving red marks in its wake. _His_ Wonder Boy. A phrase of ownership, just like he owned all the warriors, just like he owned all of the military brass.

Zeke would transform into his titan form when told and throw rocks and sink ships, trying not to think about how playing catch with Ksaver had been perverted into murder and a weapon of war. Apparently he saved a young female soldier named Yelena at sea, although he didn’t quite remember when or how. She approached him afterwards, impressively tall with deep-set eyes that seemed to see right through him.

She came to meet him outside, in secret, away from prying Marleyan eyes. She thanked him, but her eyes were too intense. She idolized his Beast Titan, claiming it was a messiah and would guide them to freedom. Zeke struck a match and lit a cigarette, eyeing her out of the corner of his eye and breathing out smoke.

"I would do anything for you," she said, and Zeke grimaced.

"I don't swing that way," he stated matter-of-factly.

"Neither do I," she replied calmly, smiling easily, and Zeke snorted, looking to her in surprise.

He laughed, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. "So what is it you want, then?"

"Whatever it is that you want. I'll help you.” Her eyes were too deep, too devoted. “I would follow you to the ends of the earth."

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


She was sincere, he found out.

Her handshake was firm, and though the intensity of her eyes was still too much for him, he felt she was trustworthy.

As time went on and she proved her loyalty, she became trustworthy enough to be the person he was looking for, that Ksaver had told him to look for. But she wasn't Eldian and couldn't inherit the Founding Titan even if he retrieved it. Yelena told him she was from a small country conquered by Marley, but his intuition told him that was a lie. It didn't matter to him though.

She was a natural leader, utterly ruthless, rallying soldiers together underneath him that they could trust. She delivered speeches that were so sincere, that spoke of her utter devotion to his cause. 

She truly believed he would save the world and wanted to be there when it happened.

She had charisma and made women blush, had them wrapped around her finger; subservient to her, just the way she liked them. Zeke was almost jealous of her, how she seemed to be in such control of her own emotions, not relying on anyone or anything. 

If only she knew that the man she worshipped was actually so weak.

She knew nothing of his past but was convinced of his future. What did she see in him that made her trust him so? What part of him looked like a god? He wondered if she saw the difference between the Beast of a Titan he transformed into and the beast of a man that stood before her now.

Zeke left General Calvi’s office one day after a particularly rough session. He pulled his coat back on, sliding his armband into place, and pulled the collar up to hide the marks on his neck. There were raw rope burns on his wrists and ankles, all over his body, darker splotches from being smacked with Calvi’s paddle.

He met up with Yelena and the other volunteers in the usual place, candlelit with papers scattered over the desk they were studying. Their group was slowly growing, different races joining together in their hate for Marley. A handsome man with dark skin was new, he had a difficult name to pronounce that rolled off the tongue.

Zeke pulled out a cigarette, studying the papers and lists of names. Yelena seemed to eye his neck distastefully, the red and purple marks that he had half-heartedly tried to hide. 

She knew whose office he had just come out of and wrinkled her nose. "You could do better."

Zeke scratched the back of his head, then his ear, adjusting his glasses. He sucked in the smoke and then blew it out, smiling strainedly. Maybe sadly. "I really couldn’t.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Zeke didn’t really see the value of human life.

It’s not that he didn’t care for people; on the contrary, he wished for there to be less suffering in the world and for there to finally be peace.

It was just that if all of existence was for nothing in the end, if we all die anyway, then what was the difference between dying now rather than later? Wouldn’t it be a relief to die sooner instead of prolonging the pain?

He found himself contemplating this when he read the notice in the newspaper that Jannik had died.

It was a small gas explosion. He and three others had not survived their injuries. And that was it.

He didn’t cry. It’s not like he was his boyfriend or anything. Jannik had picked him up at a bar when Zeke was eighteen and the sex had been so good that they kept seeing each other afterwards. It was just sex. He had been a sort of friend to Zeke, but he wondered if he could really call anyone that. He lied to everyone he met, never told anyone his deepest thoughts and dreams. Can you really call someone your friend if they don’t even know who you really are?

“Did you know him?” Yelena asked, scrutinizing the newspaper he was holding. He hadn’t turned the page for quite some time and she had noticed.

Zeke cleared his throat, shuffling the paper in his hands.

“Not really. He just fucked me a few times,” he said. “He had a great cock. Positively huge.”

Yelena wrinkled her nose in disgust and he sniggered. He liked to tease her, to test her reaction like that. He wanted to show her the true face of her god, for her to see him as the broken man he really was. There was a small and damaged, long-hidden part of him that was afraid if she did then she would leave, and then he really would be all alone.

But the thought was intrusive and he dismissed it immediately. Life was meaningless anyway and he would be dead in less than a decade. In the time he had left, it didn’t matter if he had friends, it only mattered that he had tools to aid his cause. 

He was the god she believed him to be - he needed to believe it too.

He was going to save the world and Ksaver would be watching.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zeke and Yelena’s peculiar relationship has always fascinated me and I wish Isayama could have showed them interacting more. That’s a gay man and a lesbian trying to save the world right there. Funnily enough, Yelena was the only character Zeke didn’t lie to or betray at all, besides Ksaver. In the canon high school AU, we see that in a peaceful world they would have had the same relationship: a cult leader and his right-hand woman. So peculiar, I love it


	4. break me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> General Calvi likes to break Zeke just as Zeke likes to be broken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for uncomfortable levels of nationalism and explicit sex

At twenty-one years of age, Zeke was promoted. It had been a year since Marcel and the others had left for the Paradis mission and they hadn’t heard anything back yet. Zeke had been taking down cities singlehandedly with his scream, destroying ships and towns by hurling rocks. He turned it into a game; a simple game of baseball where he scored points until he reached a set match. It made it easy, almost fun. It helped that he didn’t have to see the faces of the people he killed. And so he continued like that, following orders. Keeping up the farce that he was loyal to Marley, all for the sake of his plan.

He was General Calvi’s pride and joy. 

He was invited to Calvi’s office one evening, as he often was. ‘Training’, Calvi called it, but he knew he was the only warrior to receive it. Zeke stood there with his legs a shoulder-width apart, hands folded behind his back. He had been ordered to strip down, and so he had, standing only in his underwear and socks.

Calvi had a metal pointer in his hand that made a sharp, whipping sound every time it cut through the air to smack against his palm. He was dressed in full uniform, boots loud on the wooden floor behind Zeke as he paced back and forth slowly. 

Zeke clenched his fists behind his back, swallowing.

Calvi was in his forties, authoritative, with deep-set eyes that eyed Zeke up and down. "Wonder Boy Zeke...” He was the one who promoted Zeke and also the one who called him in for ‘Training’. It was a farce, an excuse to break him, as he was so fond to do. “Turning in your parents fourteen years ago and working your way up through the warrior program. Following every order. Such a pure display of loyalty to your nation."

His boots squeaked, turning towards Zeke and moving to stand in front of him. His eyes slid down the young man’s bare form in a way that made Zeke swallow, his adam’s apple bobbing.

The blond kept his gaze low, below Calvi’s eyes. An Eldian meeting their superior’s eyes could be taken as a sign of rebellion and disrespect. A race of devils, they were expected to stand below the rest.

Calvi drew his long, metal pointer towards the blond, touching his cheek before dragging it slowly down his neck and collarbone, tortuously slowly over his nipple. Zeke shivered.

“Tell me. I want to hear it from your mouth. Where do your loyalties lie?” Calvi’s voice was firm, eyes raking down his bare skin. “Zeke.” The metal tip of his pointer continued down, over Zeke’s flat stomach that rose and fell with his breaths, to his white underwear, stopping at the modest bulge. 

Zeke swallowed, opening his mouth. "I, Zeke Jaege-..." He almost bit his tongue, tripping over his words and brows furrowing as Calvi applied slight pressure to his groin. It was a sharp pain, the device pointed and made of steel. "I..-wish to be freed... from the dirty bloodline of Ymir... and pledge my life-..."

Calvi started circling his bulge, lifting the weight of it and letting it down again, a delicious pressure on and off. Zeke felt his cock moisten inside his underwear. His knees shook lightly, gritting his teeth. He was not loyal to Marley, and yet pretending he was made him hard. The words came easily, the country’s education and Grisha’s brainwashing had stuck despite himself, even as he drowned himself in books in an attempt to undo it.

"M... my life and those of my family to the Great Nation of Marley."

“Your family?” Calvi circled the growing erection, the moistness that had started to gather on the fabric. ”...And your parents?”

Zeke breathed heavily through his nose, shivering. “I renounced my father and mother of the Eldian Restorationists, all for my beloved Marley.”

Calvi nodded, tilting his head. “And as an Honorary Marleyan, who do you work so hard for?” He slid the pointer upwards, dragging, hooking it into the waistband of the young man’s white underwear. “Your grandparents?” He tugged it down, just enough, so the tip of Zeke’s penis poked out, pink and flushed and glistening wet. “Or for your country?”

“I-” Zeke’s voice shook, struggling to stay in place and nails digging into his palms behind his back. “I-I am proud to be an Honorary Marleyan-...” His voice broke as Calvi pressed the cold metal to his cock, sliding up and down. “And to b-be...” His breath hitched, toes curling in his socks. “T-to be given the opportunity to display m-my... loyalty to the motherland.”

His dick was leaking onto Calvi’s pointer, but the older man kept sliding it up and down, stroking him with it and sending sharp little shivers through his body.

“Why?” Calvi’s eyes bored into him hungrily, his strokes not stopping.

Zeke’s breath came out in gasps and he tried to suppress them by biting his lips. His hips kept hitching, like he was confused about whether he wanted to get away or arch further into the pleasure. He frowned, head cloudy and confused about what Calvi was asking. His loyalty to Marley was a lie. But he liked this pleasure that being loyal to Marley provided him. “I-I wish to prove my... loyalty to Marley.”

“And? What else.” The pointer dipped further inside his underwear, stroking down all the way to his balls and then back up again, down and up. Down and up. 

“A-a-atone... for the sins of Eldia.”

Calvi dragged it back up and began circling the tip of Zeke’s leaking cock. “And how will you do that?”

“I will...” Zeke stopped his hips from bucking, his erection releasing another glob of pre-come. “Pledge...” He could barely breathe, his knees shaking uncontrollably from the stimulation that was both not enough and too much. “My life and fight for the motherland...!”

Calvi drew his eyebrows together, looking at him with pity and pulling the pointer away from the young man’s member, a string of pre-come connecting them. “That’s not enough, my beloved Wonder Boy.” 

Zeke stumbled forward slightly as the stimulation left, righting himself back to the proper posture immediately. His body trembled and he chewed his lip, his body covered in a thin layer of sweat that glowed in the candlelight. Calvi circled back around him so that Zeke could no longer see him, so all he could hear was his footsteps.

Calvi’s voice came from behind him. “Go bend over my desk. And stick out your ass.”

Zeke swallowed and followed the order.

Calvi’s desk was a few steps in front of him, wide and a dark mahogany. The blond approached it on shaky legs, bending over it obediently. He buried his face in his arms, pulling his sweaty locks away from his eyes.

He heard Calvi’s steps coming up behind him and felt the older man hook his gloved fingers into Zeke’s underwear, pulling them down to his knees. He left them there, halfway down his legs along with his socks, and heard Calvi chuckle lowly.

“They’re soaked. Did pledging your loyalties to your country make you wet?”

Zeke flushed darkly, all the way to his neck and ears. He hated how much he loved the humiliation. He wasn’t loyal to Marley. But he loved this.

The gloves Calvi was wearing were a soft, expensive leather, stroking Zeke’s backside smoothly and humming deeply. The blond’s skin was unmarred, a perfect plumpness, and he rubbed his skin slowly, sensuously.

“Spread your legs wider. So I can see.”

Zeke suppressed a hitched moan, biting his lip, and did as he was told.

He spread his knees further apart, trying to ignore how much they were shaking. His dick was still untouched, leaking between his legs onto the wooden floor.

Calvi hummed appreciatively at the sight, taking a step back to look at him. He ran the metal head of his pointer up the inside of Zeke’s thigh, pressing up against his balls for a tortuously long moment. He dragged it further up, between his cheeks, swiping along his hole, and Zeke moaned.

The older man watched Zeke’s hips circling, trying to rub the wet tip of his erection against the hard wood of the desk. Calvi frowned, disapproving.

Zeke felt the touch of metal leave him for a moment, and he panted in anticipation as he waited, thighs trembling. The touch came back all of a sudden as Calvi lashed him three times across the meat of his ass, three quick strikes in succession that made Zeke’s spine go taut and breath choke in his throat. The burning feeling creeped up, blooming steadily into a searing pain that had him gasping. His eyes watered as he panted, gritting his teeth at that satisfying and familiar burn.

The blond’s skin reddened, bright red welts rising in sharp lines where the metal had hit him. The soft leather of Calvi’s gloves smoothed over them, the disparity between pain and pleasure making Zeke drool and toes curl. He panted hotly, cock bobbing between his legs, and Calvi shushed him and stroked his backside where it was burning hot and red.

The soft touch left him again and Zeke found himself arching for it, his body unconsciously asking for it back. He heard Calvi’s footsteps retreat, stepping back away from him. His voice cut through the dimly lit room. 

“Hold yourself open.”

Zeke whimpered, hands shaking as he did as he was told, reaching his hands back and pulling his cheeks apart, exposing his most intimate place to his superior.

The wait was absolute torture. Zeke struggled to breathe evenly, flushed darkly as he waited, hearing Calvi sigh lowly and admire the lewd sight. His heavy footsteps approached again, his gloved hands smoothing down Zeke’s spine, dragging over the individual ridges, over the sheen of sweat that had gathered on his skin. He glided further down, between his cheeks, over his hole, and Zeke clenched unintentionally.

Calvi chuckled and Zeke swallowed thickly, when all of a sudden the metal pointer came down again, this time right on his puckered hole. Three quick slaps of metal right on his entrance and Zeke couldn’t stop his loud groan, the way his toes and fingers curled and eyes rolled back in his head. There was a pause and then the pain erupted, delicious and searing hot, right in that intimate place and bringing tears to Zeke’s eyes.

Calvi chuckled fondly, looking down at Zeke’s hole clenching around nothing. “Mm, you’re twitching. You like that, don’t you?”

Zeke head fell to the desk beneath him, pressing his forehead against it. He managed a weak moan of, “Yes, sir,” drooling onto the wood, glasses askew on his sweaty face. He liked being loyal to Marley. He had to remind himself he was just pretending.

Calvi stroked Zeke’s backside gently, a harsh disparity against the burning sharp pain from a moment before. “I’m sure you want something more. It looks like you do.” 

The blond heard a drawer open and the sound of something wet, and then Calvi’s gloved fingers were spreading a thick oil over his twitching hole. It was cold and Zeke’s spine went taut with a choked cry, body curling away automatically, but Calvi smoothed over his spine soothingly with his other hand.

He rubbed the oil in with thick, slow circles, warming it up with Zeke’s own body heat in his most intimate place. Zeke’s body wracked with shivers, still holding himself open onto Calvi’s thick fingers rubbing and rubbing and rubbing. It felt so good, easing inside him and stretching, massaging away the sharp pain from metal slaps moments before.

“Would you like something else?” Calvi found Zeke’s prostate easily from memory, pressed his fingers firmly into it, a steady push and release, and the blond’s knees shook violently, dick dripping a puddle onto the floor beneath him. “You would, wouldn’t you.”

The blond’s voice was hoarse but he forced it out, hair sticking to his forehead. “Yes, sir.”

The older man sounded pleased. “Look at you. So obedient.” He reached for something else from the drawer. “Following my every order. My perfect Wonder Boy.”

Zeke panted hotly, moaning loudly as he felt Calvi push an object inside him instead of his fingers. It was small and wide with lots of bumps, and Zeke clenched around it, the oil allowing it to slide in. It made a lewd squelching sound and Zeke bit his lips, shaking. It stretched his insides and made his toes curl, the bumpy ridges rubbing up into places that made him feel so good. 

Calvi smoothed a leather gloved-hand down his spine again, his voice low and thick. “Who are you loyal to?”

He wasn’t loyal to Marley. But the pleasure was so good. Zeke rolled his head to the side, his face pressing against the wood of the desk and shining with sweat. “M-Marley, sir.”

Calvi pushed his fingers inside him, thrusting the toy in and out with a loud squelching sound. “Who will you fight for?” His other hand brought the metal pointer down onto Zeke’s ass with a loud whack.

Zeke jolted harshly, mind going blank. He wasn’t loyal to Marley. Was he? “M...:” He choked on his breath, eyelids flickering and a lump in his throat. “Marley...!” 

Another slap, harder, the pain blooming in sharp bursts. “Who will you die for?”

Zeke cried out, the toy pressing harshly into his prostate and making his cock twitch in time with the thrusts. Was he loyal to Marley? He couldn’t remember. “M-...Mar...Marley...!”

The older man leaned over his body, mouthing into his sweaty neck. He reached between Zeke’s legs and grasped his erection, flushed dark and leaking, and the friction from leather on his swollen member made the blond choke and eyes roll back in his head. “Who do you belong to, Zeke?” 

Calvi stroked him forcefully, almost painfully hard, long, firm strokes from base to tip. “M-Marley...!” Zeke gasped, as the older man coaxed him and squeezed, forcing the orgasm from him, and the blond’s legs spasmed, vision going blank. He shuddered uncontrollably and spurted all over the wooden desk. “I belong to Marley...!” His legs shook terribly, drool running down his chin, and the older man just continued stroking him, not stopping or slowing, forcing him to give more. Zeke was sure he didn’t have anymore, whimpering incoherently, but Calvi pressed the toy harder up against his prostate and kept stroking until Zeke twitched and spilled some more. He was overstimulated and delirious when Calvi finally let go, pulling the toy out with a wet squelch, and Zeke collapsed onto his knees, entire body trembling.

Calvi forced Zeke to look up at him with a firm hand on the back of his neck, and Zeke reacted to the authority, turning to look at him, sitting in a pool of his own cum.

“Mmm...” The older man hummed approvingly, kneeling down to his level. “Now what do you say?”

“H...” Zeke panted, eyes lidded, sweaty locks sticking to his forehead and soft member a wet mess in his lap. “Hail Marley.”

“My beloved Wonder Boy,” Calvi smiled, pleased. “I’ve never doubted you for a second.”

Long Live Marley. At least for today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love that Isayama probably based General Calvi’s design off Mads Mikkelsen. Very spicy


	5. threaten me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zeke manipulates soldiers around him and arrives on Paradis.

At twenty-three years of age Zeke felt much too familiar with war. His Beast Titan was Marley’s strongest offence and with Pieck’s Cart Titan and Panzer Unit as a support, they defended Marley against the country’s countless enemies. Along with Porco, the three of them shared an understanding, being the only warriors left behind. They sat and ate lunch together away from the Marleyan soldiers who belittled them and looked at them with contempt, just for being Eldian devils. Porco would scoff at the sneers and keep his head held high and Pieck would laugh and brush it off, because her Panzer Unit and Magath had shown her that not all Marleyans were necessarily bad.

They brought the food and Zeke brought the coffee, but he always seemed to burn his tongue no matter how many times he drank it. Pieck would glance down at the rope burns and bruises on his wrist curiously, giving him a look like she knew. But she was smart enough to know not to comment. Zeke winced, pulling his sleeve down to cover them with Porco oblivious as usual. She was too perceptive, as expected of Pieck.

There were new promising warrior candidates that year, in particular, a tiny blond boy named Colt Grice. Zeke was alarmed the first time he saw him. Zeke’s grandparents and he were all-too familiar with the Grice family, the boy’s uncle having been exiled; sent to Paradis along with Grisha and Dina. Colt was only ten years old and yet he was repenting for his uncle’s crimes by pledging his life to Marley. 

Zeke pitied him. He thought it was horribly cruel. It would have been better for the boy to have never been born, at least then he wouldn’t have to suffer like that. But Colt was cheerful and determined despite his family’s pressures and would chirp a loud, “Hello, Mr Zeke!” every time he saw him at headquarters.

Zeke felt almost like a big brother to Porco and Pieck and the bright little warrior candidate Colt. He scowled into his cigarette, feeling conflicted about the whole thing. It was not part of his plans to become fond and he made a conscious effort to not get too attached. It would just make things harder in the end.  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Zeke was twenty-four when he started to get restless. Four years had passed since the Paradis mission to retake the Founding Titan began and still there was no information from Marcel and the others. It was possible that they were all dead. Zeke had only six years left of his lifespan and he was starting to think he needed to make a move of some kind. He was running out of time.

Lately he had started to grow out his beard, his hair also getting longer in the back. The facial hair made him look older than he really was and Zeke thought it was funny, looking at himself in the mirror. _Like a beast._ He wasn’t conscious of the fact, or perhaps he was, that he was looking more and more like Grisha each day.

He started to bring ideas into meetings with General Calvi and Magath and the other high-ranking officers. A re-con mission, he proposed. Invade Paradis Island and observe the enemy’s offences. They could send a small group in and launch an experimental attack. Any information on the state of the Founding Titan and the Armored, Colossal, Female and Jaw Titans would be a plus.

Calvi stroked his chin in thought, complimented Zeke’s determination and wit. “Very well, we begin the plans for re-con on Paradis Island within a year.”

Magath didn’t look as pleased, eyeing Zeke suspiciously. 

Zeke was glad he had been careful to build Calvi’s trust over the years and pulled his collar up to cover the marks on his neck.  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Zeke was twenty-five when the re-con mission came to fruition. He spent weeks in preparation before they left, having his spinal fluid extracted and turned into a gas by the research society. The Cart Titan was to accompany him and a regiment of Marleyan soldiers. Pieck’s long-distance scouting and her ability to stay in her titan form for months at a time was ideal; she would carry their supplies on her back.

And so they departed Marley in a ship and Zeke saw the harbour of Paradis Island for the first time. It occurred to him that this was the place where Grisha had been taken to and titanized, the despair he and Dina must have felt after being betrayed by their own seven-year-old son. Zeke tried not to think about it, focused on the task at hand, but he found that his hands were shaking when he lit a cigarette, breaking the match by accident. He scoffed bitterly, stamping the cigarette under his boot.

They trekked to the first wall in about five hours, what they had been told was called Wall Maria, and it was Zeke’s role to divert any mindless titans away from them with his ability. They reached the second, Wall Rose, and immediately found the first village they could. He would later find out it was called Ragako Village. The Marleyan soldiers adorned masks and released the gas with his spinal fluid in it, and Zeke felt pity for the villagers. They transformed into mindless titans at the sound of his scream and he ordered them to find the nearest humans away from there.

Pieck seemed to notice his strange mood. He couldn’t seem to shake it ever since he laid foot on the island. But as expected of Pieck, she was smart enough not to say anything and the Marleyan soldiers instructed them that they were to set up camp. They found an abandoned castle near the wall with an old sign reading ‘Utgard Castle’ in an Eldian dialect different to theirs.

They took some of the crates of supplies off Pieck’s back, water and alcohol and cans of herring for the soldiers. Pieck was ordered to scout the area as usual, so the soldiers could observe and report the enemy’s retaliation back to Marley. Zeke was ordered to control any mindless titans, making sure they didn’t come near the castle. Zeke was thankful for the opportunity, this rare chance to move freely, and so he did, to observe this island for himself.

They had been briefed by Marley before leaving - Subjects of Ymir spoke the same Eldian language as them, albeit with an accent. What they hadn’t known was that the Subjects of Ymir were capable of fighting titans. They flew around on wires and used swords to cut their napes. Zeke was intrigued. He watched a soldier fight desperately for his life and Zeke approached him, asking politely what the thing around his waist was called. 

The soldier was terrified of him and Zeke suddenly felt very silly, scratching his ear. Of course. Normally titans didn’t talk and he must have looked like a god of some sort, or perhaps a devil, to the soldier. Zeke stole the mechanical device used to fly around and cradled it in his large hand, listening to the soldier’s screams of fear behind him. He was clinging to life, struggling against the throes of death and Zeke couldn’t understand why. Life was meaningless and he felt pity for the soldier who fought so desperately for nothing. Death should be a relief. It was better this way.  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“I don’t know what you were doing while you went off on your own earlier, but I know it was something. Eldian devils can’t be trusted.”

A Marleyan soldier approached him back at their base at Utgard Castle, cornering him in one of the dark hallways.

Zeke smiled easily, rolling his neck and scratching the back of his head. The careless attitude he had perfected over the years. 

_Well, shit._ He thought he had been discreet.

“Not sure what you mean,” Zeke replied lightly. There was no way for this low-ranking officer to know anything about Zeke’s plan or his true goals, but he supposed by being Eldian he was suspicious by default.

The soldier looked at him with contempt. “The Generals are fools for trusting you. You might be strong as the Beast Titan, I’ll give you that. But you spread your legs for them like a dirty whore and they treat you as if you’re not a devil.”

“Well, that’s just mean.” Zeke pulled his eyebrows together, feigning offence. “I actually bathe quite regularly.”

The soldier’s frown deepened, twisting darkly. “I should report you.”

“Come on, now...” Zeke tutted softly, sighing. “I haven’t even done anything.” He hadn’t, really. All he had done was stolen a mechanical device to study for himself. It wouldn’t be the worst thing if this man reported him and it was found out. But Zeke was in a strange mood since arriving on the island and would prefer not to attract suspicion, no matter how small. Besides, the soldier was handsome, and Zeke adored it when handsome men looked at him with disgust. “I could make it worth your while."

The soldier’s eyes widened minutely, but Zeke noticed, lips twitching upwards. The man’s eyes dropped to Zeke’s feet then roamed back up again. His mouth opened then quickly closed again as he frowned deeply, seeming to mull it over. Soldiers rarely got any kind of release when on missions, celibacy for months at a time being the norm. His mouth twisted into a grimace, throwing a quick glance down the hallway, at the flickering light in the distance where the other soldiers were gathered. He looked back to Zeke who was smiling at him expectantly. "...Fine. Make it quick, though."

Zeke grinned, feeling victorious and dropping to his knees immediately. He loved it when prim and proper soldiers like this one succumbed to their basic instincts, it made him horny like nothing else. He removed his glasses, placing them in his pocket. 

The soldier leaned back against the wall, undoing his pants quietly and Zeke licked his lips when he pulled himself out. It was bigger than he was expecting.

"Thanks for the meal," he sang sarcastically, leaning in and opening his mouth, but the soldier stopped him with a rough tug in his hair that made Zeke wince.

"No teeth. Or you're done."

Zeke gave him a mock-salute. "Yes, sir."

He started by licking all over from the base to the tip, coaxing it into full hardness. He used his hand to stroke slowly along with his tongue, a steady wet pull, up and down. The soldier panted above him, knocking his head back against the wall. Clearly it had been a while for him and Zeke grinned, confident in his own skills. Zeke closed his mouth around him, covering his teeth with his lips, and swallowed him down. He pushed his nose into the soldier’s pubes, closing his eyes and humming lowly in his throat, sending vibrations through the man’s body. He swallowed around him and heard the man’s breath hitch as he grabbed Zeke’s hair roughly.

_“Fuck.”_

Zeke smirked around the man’s erection, starting to bob his head up and down. He kept his pace slow, sensual, drooling around the man’s dick and using his saliva as lube. The wet sounds were loud in the echoing castle and positively lewd, and he used his tongue to drag along the underside, applying pressure and warm, wet suction by hollowing his cheeks. The soldier was panting heavily, thighs twitching unintentionally, leaking copious amount of pre-come onto his tongue. Zeke swallowed it eagerly, the taste salty and familiar and making his own cock harden and moisten inside his pants.

He rubbed himself with his palm casually, just a little to take the edge off, but the soldier noticed him do it. He looked down at the blond, disgusted, and used his boot to step down on Zeke’s crotch.

The blond’s eyes shot open immediately, whimpering muffledly around the man’s dick. But the soldier kept his hand in Zeke’s hair so he wouldn’t move and pressed his boot down harder, applying pressure. It hurt, in a delicious, burning way, and Zeke’s eyes started to water, drool running down his chin and into his beard.

He choked wetly, not able to breathe around the dick stuffed down his throat and the man’s boot grinded down again on his groin. Zeke moaned pathetically and swallowed around his cock again, deep-throating it and panting through his nose. He swallowed again and again as the man held his head there forcefully, and Zeke heard him groan and curse, gripping his head close like he was an object to fuck into. He didn’t warn Zeke, just jutted his hips forward making him choke, and came down his throat with a muffled moan.

The blond swallowed most of it down, throat bobbing as the soldier’s hips twitched. When he finally finished and let Zeke go, the blond gasped for air desperately, spluttering wetly and coughing onto the stone floor. He panted, his eyes looking pink, squinting up at the man and sniffing through his blocked nose.

The soldier was breathing heavily, running a hand through his sweaty hair as he looked down at the hardness between Zeke’s legs. "Eldian devil," he spat. "Fucking whore." He pulled his pants up, tucking himself back in and already beginning to walk away.

"Thanks, love you too," Zeke replied automatically, chewing on the nail of his thumb. He rested on the balls of his feet, mind elsewhere and staring into the darkened room absently. He coughed and sniffed once more, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. His knees popped as he stood up, and he looked down at his crotch with a light frown, palming himself casually. He supposed he could rub one out, he didn’t think he’d be able to concentrate properly if he left it like that anyway.

So he unzipped his pants and stroked himself quickly in the corner of that darkened hallway, thinking of the burn as the soldier grinded his boot and looked at him with such contempt, using his throat as a cock-sleeve. He groaned quietly, spilling onto the stone wall and swallowing thickly, before zipping himself back up.  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The soldier didn’t report him and Zeke was thankful for that. He glared at Zeke from across the room as all the Marleyan soldiers settled down to eat their rations. Zeke made sure to lick his banana while making eye contact with the soldier, and Officer Koslow made a disgusted face at him and told him to eat his fucking food like a normal person.

There was a report from Pieck that she had seen enemy combatants approaching, and so they left Utgard Castle in a rush, leaving behind much of their supplies. Zeke was sad he didn’t get to finish his banana.

He transformed into his Beast Titan and stayed behind to observe the enemy and throw rocks their way, hoping it would be a signal for the owner of the Founding or the four warriors. And then he returned to the ship to wait.

The signal worked.

It turned out that Reiner and Bertholdt were alive, Marcel was dead and Annie’s status was unknown. Reiner and Bertholdt had brought a young girl with them who had stolen the Jaw and had much information to share from the years they had lived inside the walls, including about the Founding Titan.

Especially about the Founding Titan.

“Eren... Jaeger?”

Those two words were like a light in the darkness and for the first time ever, Zeke felt hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry that Zeke is such a whore but that’s just how I see him


	6. punish me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zeke is unsuccessful at retrieving Eren and is punished for his failure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for explicit descriptions of sexual urethral sounding

Zeke was made aware that Grisha hadn't died eighteen years ago when he was sent to Paradis. Instead he had made a new life for himself inside the walls.

As soon as Zeke got back to his room, he immediately stumbled over to the bathroom and lurched over the toilet, retching out the contents of his stomach. He barely made it in time, clutching the toilet rim and panted and retched again.

Grisha had created a second family, a beautiful new wife and son.

Marleyan soldiers were present when Reiner and Bertholdt reported this information about Eren Jaeger, and Zeke knew that the military would soon be made aware of the fate of Grisha Jaeger, enemy to the Great Nation of Marley.

Zeke's hands were clammy as he clung to the toilet bowl, his skin covered in sweat and hair sticking to his forehead.

Grisha had clearly used the Attack Titan and stole the Founding from the king within the walls before feeding himself to his young son.

Zeke had barely listened to the rest of the report, head feeling hot and hazy with a loud ringing steadily rising in his ears. His hands had shook and he excused himself to his room at the back of the ship. The realization that Grisha had kept living after Zeke’s betrayal had his traumas coming back up, the nausea he constantly experienced as a child. The expectations and the crippling anxiety, creeping up and swallowing him whole when Grisha would look at him with those eyes of disappointment. The uncontrollable shaking, the panic attacks; he had been too young to recognize his own parents were brainwashing him, brainwashing that he still struggled with to this day. The yelling and screaming, loud noises and slamming of hands on the table, and Zeke’s younger self could do nothing but whimper and cry, hiding beneath his bed sheets. 

Zeke's fingers trembled horribly as it all came back, and he ripped his glasses away from his face, wiping it with his arm and heaving, nothing left in his stomach to bring up.

Eren Jaeger was his baby brother and had suffered at the hands of Grisha, just as he had.

Zeke clutched at his head and gritted his teeth, chest heaving as his body shook violently and wiping the drool and tears that had gathered on his face.

His baby brother. He needed to save him.  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Zeke had the title of Warchief now, standing above the other warriors and had the authority to order them to prioritize the Founding. To prioritize retrieving Eren.

They would wait at the area known as Shiganshina District for the island devils to come to them and Pieck's Cart Titan would be their look-out and supplies. Pieck was genuinely mourning Marcel, seemed upset about Annie's unknown whereabouts, but still nodded and followed orders. Reiner and Bertholdt protested, wanting to return to save Annie, but Zeke subdued them. He threatened to feed their titans to more suitable candidates and even surprised himself with his ruthlessness. But Eren was his little brother and he finally had a lead. He wouldn’t let it get away.

The island devils came as planned and Zeke did as he always did: he turned murder and war into a game for himself to enjoy. But these devils were different to the soldiers he had killed in the past throughout the years. They charged straight for him, knowingly to their deaths, and Zeke was left confused as they approached him. 

He later found out that he killed their blond Commander, a handsome man of intelligence and dignity. He killed the new recruits who had just joined and injured veterans alike; they were all the same, charging towards him to their terrible fates.

They were repeating the mistakes of the past, fooling themselves into thinking they were dying proud deaths and Zeke couldn't understand it. Life had no meaning and neither did death; humans were simply lumps of meat, ugly and twisting and struggling desperately to survive for absolutely no reason at all. What was the point of fighting if they all ended up dead in the end? Why not just accept and succumb?

Zeke shocked himself with how angry he was, how similar to his father he had become, accidentally crushing rocks into dust within his fist. He swallowed and looked down at himself, forced his shaking lips into a fake, carefree smile. 

It was all just a game. 

He was nothing like Grisha. 

He wasn't. 

He wasn't. 

He told himself this over and over, repeated the mantra, and returned the island devils into lumps of meat.  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


He had gotten too confident. He should have known that turning murder and war into a game was conceited, but it was a way for him to cope, for him to compartmentalize.

He hadn't even noticed the tiny soldier until he was right on top of him.

The soldier known as Levi destroyed him. He forced Zeke out of his titan, slicing off his limbs and almost decapitating him. It was so quick that the pain didn't even register, all he knew was that he was staring up at a demon in the form of a man. It traumatized him, he realized afterwards.

And then Eren Jaeger was there in front of him.

Eren didn't look like Grisha. That was the first thing that slipped from his mouth.

Zeke's chest felt tight, his features softening in surprise as steam rose from his body as it healed. Eren was just a boy, a whole ten years younger than him. He was smaller than he had imagined with a round, young face. Zeke ignored the rage behind Eren’s eyes, denied the intensity that lay beyond his stare. He was just a boy. His baby brother.

Zeke spoke from his heart when he told Eren that he understood him; understood what their father had done to them. He all but begged him to believe his words were the truth and he had never in his life been more sincere than the moment when he promised Eren he would save him.

The soldier called Levi followed him over the wall and when Zeke looked up at him, all he could see was a _monster_.

It was only after he had escaped with Reiner and abandoned Bertholdt, that Zeke realized talking to Eren had been the first time he had ever told the truth.  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The mission was a failure. Not only had they failed to retrieve the Founding but they lost the Colossal on top of that. There were talks of feeding Reiner to someone else unless he could prove his loyalty to Marley somehow in battle. As the Warchief older than the other warriors, the blame was placed on Zeke as well and he took responsibility for the failure.

General Calvi was ruthless.

“Seems I have to remind you of your place.”

He didn’t seem to doubt Zeke’s loyalty but punishment was warranted for his failure all the same. Calvi was proud of the rope burns that he constantly left behind on Zeke’s wrists and ankles, and would order him to prevent his regenerative abilities from healing them. But the marks had disappeared in the month that he had been away on the island, his limbs having been cut off and regenerated again. 

Calvi tutted disapprovingly. The marks were supposed to be a reminder of who he belonged to, an objectification so he remembered his status as a lowly Eldian devil.

"We'll have to make new ones then, won't we."

He was ordered to lay on his back on Calvi's desk. His thin white shirt was open and he kept it on along with his socks, but his glasses and the rest of his clothes he stripped off, laying back stiffly on the hard wooden desk. His member was soft between his legs and Calvi drew Zeke’s arms up and tied his wrists tightly with the usual rope. He tugged them harshly, too tight, so they cut into his skin and rubbed them raw. Zeke barely flinched at the familiar burn.

Calvi pulled from his drawer a small black leather box with thin metal rods lined up neatly inside. He wore his leather gloves as always; never touched Zeke with his bare hands. He poured oil onto Zeke's soft member and wrapped his hand around him, beginning to stroke him firmly, coaxing him into hardness.

Zeke's brows furrowed and his legs hitched, his body reacting immediately. His cock began to harden from the steady, wet strokes, the sound of it lewd in the silent office. _Shlick, shlick, shlick._ It only took a few firm strokes for him to become half-erect and Calvi reached for one of the metal rods, a long, thin one that had a ribbing effect, covered in small ridges from top to bottom.

Zeke's breath caught in his throat when he realized what it was used for, body unconsciously trying to turn away. But Calvi held him in place with an authoritative hand and eyes that told him to _know your place_. Calvi smeared some of the oil into the slit of Zeke’s penis before inserting the nub of the metal sounding rod inside. Gravity allowed it to fall a little and Zeke’s breath hitched at the sensation of it entering him.

Calvi smoothed his leather gloves over the meat of Zeke’s thigh, holding them open with a strong hand. He paused for a moment, letting Zeke’s breathing regulate again and then continued inserting the rod. He guided it down Zeke’s urethra, tortuously slow, letting it slide in with its own weight deeper and deeper inside. With his other hand he squeezed and stroked Zeke’s cock, guiding it up and over the metal rod.

Zeke’s breaths were short hiccups in his chest, caught in his throat and his fingers and toes kept curling and uncurling again, scrabbling at the wooden desk below him. His nipples perked with sensitivity, at the feeling of cold, bumpy metal sliding down into a place that shouldn’t be touched. It almost felt like he needed to urinate, the head of his penis swollen and red, flushing with blood and Calvi kept squeezing his shaft, stroking it upwards as the rod fell deeper, finally reaching the base.

Calvi sighed lowly, admiring the sight. Zeke was struggling to keep his legs open, thighs shaking as he kept his head down, eyes glazed over and unseeing. The older man grasped the top of the rod, pulling it slightly upwards, the ridges appearing one by one. And then he pushed it back down again and the ridges disappeared inside. He repeated the motion, dragging it intentionally slowly, upwards then down again. Up and down. Up and down. Zeke was making these little noises, soft grunts and moans and teeth chattering, that he tried to suppress by biting down on his lips, his legs twitching unintentionally. 

Calvi enjoyed the erotic sight, the way Zeke’s slit would drag and move up and over a few ridges each time before sliding back down. As though it was trying to swallow it. It was cute and Calvi chuckled lowly. He added more oil and used his other hand to continue stroking Zeke’s shaft; wet, thick strokes as he squeezed, sliding over the head and down all the way to the base. Timing it with the dragging thrusts of the metal rod.

Zeke couldn’t breathe, mind hazy, teeth clenching and chattering, feeling a heavy throbbing in his penis and balls. He could feel every individual ridge on the metal rod, like it was rubbing him raw on the inside. His body arched again, hips thrusting helplessly as Calvi slid it up and then down again. Zeke spread his legs more and bent them at the knee, wrists pulling at the ropes tied around them.

“I should take a picture,” Calvi told him. “So you can see yourself and be reminded of your place.” His voice was low, threatening. “You're incredibly fortunate there aren't any warrior candidates ready to replace you as the Beast Titan. Being an Honorary Marleyan is a privilege, not a right. I’ve been too soft on you. Failure is not to be tolerated.”

Pre-come was dribbling out of the tip of Zeke’s dick and around the metal rod, and Calvi just kept rubbing and thrusting it in and out. The more he rubbed the more his dick would throb and the more it would drool. He could feel the rod throughout his entire shaft, body strung tight and hyper-aware of the sensations, rubbing up against the walls of his urethra. It felt like it was reaching his balls every time it slid down, long enough to reach the other side and stimulate his prostate. Zeke kept gasping and writhing and spreading his legs and trying to close them again. His pulse was loud in his ears and his dick was pounding, throbbing around the piece of metal forced inside it. So much blood was gathering in his genitals and it wouldn’t stop drooling, mind foggy and eyes rolling in his head. 

Calvi’s other hand stopped stroking his shaft and instead slid downwards, pulling Zeke’s ass cheek to the side so that his puckered hole came into view. He stroked it with a finger lightly, circling it. “Mmm... You feel empty here, don’t you? You’d like something here. Long and thick inside.”

Zeke suppressed a moan, body covered in a sheen of sweat and he tugged at his rope bindings that rubbed his skin raw. He panted as Calvi waited patiently for his response. He opened his mouth in a gasp. “Y-yes, sir.”

The older man nodded and hummed in acknowledgement. He smoothed over Zeke’s hole with his thumb, tilting his head. “But you won’t be getting that.” He abruptly took his thumb away and instead dug it into the skin between Zeke’s anus and balls, pressing it in forcefully, almost meanly. “This is punishment. You have failed your country. And you _will_ know your place.”

Zeke groaned loudly and jolted, Calvi’s fingers digging harshly into that sensitive place. He pressed into it aggressively, roughly, massaging and stimulating his prostate from the outside. Zeke felt the intense rush rising steadily within him, his balls tightening and dick twitching, wanting to escape. But he couldn't cum, his toes curling, the metal rod thrusting in and out and preventing his release, Calvi twisting it between his fingers and rubbing the ridges all the way inside. 

Zeke’s cock bobbed and his urethra throbbed, choking and shuddering, and Calvi’s fingers dug into his taint harder. He felt like he would burst, the pleasure and pain mixing together and blending in to one, and he sobbed in frustration, desperate for orgasm. 

Calvi leaned in close to Zeke’s ear, breath warm and tone dark. “This was your failure, Warchief Zeke. You would do well to ensure it doesn't happen again.”

The older man pulled the metal rod out of him in one swift motion, twisting it purposely, and Zeke’s eyes went wide and his voice broke, hips twitching uncontrollably. The pressure in his groin finally released with a burst and he moaned loudly, legs shaking with pleasure as semen shot out of his dick and covered his stomach in thick spurts. Another shudder wracked through him violently and he groaned breathlessly, tongue lolling and balls tight up against his body, and his dick convulsed and squirted again, and once more.

Calvi's expression didn't even change, just stepped back away from him and removed his gloves calmly, beginning to untie the tight ropes around Zeke’s wrists. 

Zeke slumped onto the desk as he was released, covered in sweat and eyes glassy, looking like a complete wreck. He was panting and lightheaded, still coming to his senses, still experiencing involuntary tremors from the intensity of his orgasm. He was painfully sensitive everywhere, even the light shirt on his shoulders was too much and he gasped and twitched pathetically, overstimulated.

Calvi was unperturbed. “You are not permitted to heal the marks around your wrists with your ability. I expect them to still be present the next time you’re called here.” He had already turned away, as if Zeke was an afterthought and not still spread out on his desk in a puddle of his own cum. “Dismissed.”  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Zeke left Calvi’s office while rubbing at his wrists and wincing, rolling the joints stiffly and glancing down at the new bright red marks. His dick was aching, rubbed raw and deliciously sore inside his underwear. It had been a particularly rough session but Zeke welcomed the pain. Better his punishment be that than being fed to the next warrior candidate.

Colt, now twelve years old, along with the other warrior candidates were running drills outside with Magath and Zeke walked around them in an arc. The scowling soldier he had given a blowjob to at Utgard Castle was outside with the warrior candidates and Zeke grinned when he noticed the man, waving at him exaggeratedly. The soldier grimaced at the sight of him, turning back to Magath, and Zeke frowned lightly, amused and disappointed.

The soldier, introduced to him as Friedrich, had been promoted and was to be working closely with Magath in charge of the Eldian and Warrior Units. Zeke and Reiner’s failure to retake the Founding Titan had caused unrest and distrust amongst the high-ranking military brass. The Warrior Unit was already seen as mistrustful and dangerous, but this had been unprecedented. Marley had decided that the warriors needed a tighter leash and assigned more ethnically Marleyan soldiers to be their handlers. Almost as if they were misbehaving dogs, Zeke mused.

It seemed that this soldier and he would be working more closely together from then on and he stated just as much as he shook Friedrich’s hand with an easy smile. He glanced down at the man's crotch teasingly then back at his face, raising his eyebrows comically. Friedrich glowered at him darkly, his grip much too firm.

The Mid-Eastern Alliance was stirring after hearing of Marley's failure to retrieve the Founding. 

War was coming. 

But Zeke was determined, already planning his next steps and entrusting them to Yelena.

If it was for Eren, he would do anything. He would become the god Yelena believed him to be. His little brother was the one person in this world he would never abandon.

But if only he had known the truth back then.

If Zeke was to be a god, then his little brother Eren was the devil.


	7. ravage me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zeke’s plan is set into motion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for dubious consent

Not long after their failure and returning to Marley, Zeke went to visit his grandparents. He bought his grandmother a pair of new shoes and his grandfather some of his favourite cigars. By virtue of his Honorary Marleyan status, his grandfather was receiving the best psychological treatment available. On a good day, Mr. Jaeger was the familiar gentle, loving old man who had raised him. 

Zeke’s hair had grown out significantly, his scruffy beard making him look wild, and his grandmother tutted and forced him into a chair in that way that grandmothers did. She had decided to cut his hair for him and although Zeke resisted thoroughly at first, they came to a compromise that if she could neaten him up, then he could keep his beard. 

Zeke looked around at his childhood home and it brought him peace seeing that it had barely changed over the years. But he noticed that the photo of Grisha and his Aunt Faye was not where he remembered it. His grandfather had been doing particularly well lately and so Zeke decided not to ask about it, just closing his eyes and relaxing into the soft _snip, snip_ of his grandmother’s gentle hands on his nape.  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Reiner had gotten considerably thinner since he got back. He didn’t talk to anyone about what had occurred during those years on the island, other than the necessary reports to Magath and the higher-ups. His eyes were different than Zeke remembered, sunken and hollow, as if he had seen things no man should have to see. He was a completely different man to the little boy who had left and it was a strange feeling for him to be back, sliding in next to the other warriors and to the life he had before. Except that now, there were three empty seats where Marcel, Annie and Bertholdt once sat.

Porco inherited the Jaw from the freckled young girl during the time Zeke and the warriors were fighting in Shiganshina. He had time to train with it while they were away and Magath claimed he was just as promising as his late brother. A fight had broken out when Reiner reported the circumstances of Marcel’s death; that he had died a whole five years ago. Porco attacked him when he heard he had ran and left his brother to die, but Reiner didn’t even try to fight back. He let Porco push him to the floor and pummel him until he was bleeding and unrecognizable. Pieck pulled him off, but even then, Reiner simply spat out a mouthful of blood and stayed silent, accepting it all.

Magath and Pieck had started to look at Zeke differently since the warriors returned and submitted reports of their failed mission in Shiganshina. Zeke was annoyed at himself for his blunder; he had been so overwhelmed when he saw his little brother and had known that the military was aware of Eren’s connection to Grisha and therefore to Zeke. He had believed making contact with Eren wouldn’t be a problem in their eyes. But it had been spontaneous when he laid eyes on the boy; it hadn’t occurred to him at the time that his words were too personal, that it might have looked strange to Pieck, and to Magath after reading her report. Zeke simply pasted on his friendly smile and acted the big brother, obediently followed Magath’s every order, knowing that doubt and suspicion was not the same as proof.

Colt was top of his class and considered the most promising warrior candidate they had in years. Magath was certain he would be inheriting a titan in the near future, although it wasn’t decided which one yet. His little brother Falco had joined the warrior program as well and it seemed the brothers’ hard work to atone for the sins of their uncle were paying off. Along with Reiner’s determined little cousin, the warrior program was proving to be incredibly effective. With Zeke’s lifespan only having four years remaining, Marley was fervently preparing for the next generation.

Zeke was preparing as well. It was an odd feeling to know when his last days would be, to be counting them down and the knowledge he wouldn’t see past thirty. But he had always known life was meaningless anyway, believed it would have been better not to have been born at all, so it was really just a hollow feeling more than fear or sadness. Saving the world was the only thing he lived for, the ‘meaning’ of his short life, and more recently, saving Eren. And so he did his drills as ordered and trained with the others, acting as the loyal, obedient warrior, all for the sake of his and Ksaver’s plan. 

There were times during morning training when he would slack off to sneak a cigarette, and he would notice Friedrich giving him this _look_. The man’s eyes would drop to Zeke’s lips wrapped around the rolled paper in his mouth and Zeke’s brows would raise in surprise, mouth twitching up. The soldier was _remembering_ , that dark hallway in Utgard Castle, and Zeke wanted so terribly to tease him. But in the next moment, Magath was yelling at Zeke to quit slacking and the soldier’s face would revert as if nothing had happened. Perhaps because life was meaningless, Zeke loved the trivialities of seducing and being seduced. It was all just a game and Zeke was eager to enjoy it.

Ever since his traumatizing experience with the soldier known as Levi, Zeke buried himself in research that Ksaver left behind. He read every book he could find from the research society on the Ackermans, the legendary clan thought to be a myth. His mind drifted back to the tiny soldier who resembled a monster, the way his eyes had bore into his very being. The enormous power his small body had hidden within it and the utter hate held within his gaze, and Zeke felt a violent shudder wrack through his body, all the way down to his toes. Levi had truly intended to kill him and there was something so terrifying and exciting in that thought that Zeke couldn’t physically bear it. 

_Fear._

What is fear if not the desire to live? His biological instincts screaming to propagate, survive and live on. Zeke had never felt anything like it before, so strongly opposing his very life’s ideology. 

Zeke templed his fingers over the spine of a book, resting his forehead against them. Fear of a monster. That was what Levi Ackerman was to him.  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The Mid-Eastern Alliance took the opportunity while Marley was vulnerable after losing so many titans and declared war on them, banding together. Marley had made enemies of too many nations, war-hungry and arrogant, too confident in their power of the titans. It was inevitable that they lacked manpower and had no choice but to focus all their forces on the upcoming war.

But the power of the titans were still Marley’s pride and Zeke manipulated meetings with the higher-ups, used his influence on General Calvi. The military began talks of sending scouting ships to Paradis within a year, to observe and continue their mission to retake their lost titans.

The Anti-Marleyan Volunteers had grown exponentially in size and Zeke told them of Paradis and his brother the Founding Titan, Eren Jaeger. Their plan was simple - the volunteers would infiltrate the scouting ships and bring Marleyan technology to Paradis. They would reintegrate them with the world outside their tiny island and their ultimate goal was the freedom of all Eldians from Marley’s tyrannical rule.

But only to Yelena did he tell the whole truth; their goal was contact with Eren and euthanasia. And perhaps one of the most complex parts of the plan: Zeke was to spend a considerable amount of time over the next few months having his spinal fluid extracted and mixed with wine. Yelena’s eyes were wide, almost crazed and much too intense as she listened to him speak, and informed him that she would lead the operation and be on the first scouting ship sent. She wanted more than anything to meet Eren. 

And just like that, Zeke’s plan was in motion.  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


It was midday and Zeke had come back to his room at headquarters after spending hours with Yelena extracting his spinal fluid in secret. His lower back was aching from the procedure and he winced, his body slowly trying to regenerate itself.

He had brought one of the completed bottles of wine to his room with him as a sample, to observe if there were any changes in colour or composition over time. He rotated the bottle in his hands, studying it in the sunlight that shone from his window when all of a sudden the door to his room opened.

Friedrich, the soldier from Utgard, forced his way into his room and shut the door behind him. Zeke looked up at him in alarm as he placed the wine quickly on the lower shelf of his bookcase.

The man’s gaze focused on him from across the room, eyeing him suspiciously up and down. “Where have you been since morning training?”

Zeke painted a casual smile across his lips, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m not on the clock. Should the military be concerned with what I do in my private time?”

Friedrich approached him with loud, heavy steps, cornering him against the bookcase. “ _I_ am. Because Eldian devils can’t be trusted.” His eyes narrowed into slits, searching Zeke’s face for something beneath the fake veneer. His tone was dark, distrustful. “What are you planning?”

Zeke leaned back away from him exaggeratedly, stepping out from in front of him to put some distance between them. “Well, actually I was planning on eating a rather large sandwich and then... taking a long shit or something,” he sniffed. “I have a very special ass-wiping technique. You’re welcome to watch if you’d like.”

The soldier’s face twisted into a glare. “Enough of your fucking games.”

“Why always the bullying, Officer?” Zeke sighed, pulling out his cigarettes from his pocket. “Go bully Porco or something, his face is asking for it.” He placed a cigarette between his teeth before lighting a match.

It was only for a split second but Friedrich’s eyes dropped to Zeke’s mouth in such a way, to his lips poised around the cigarette before returning up to his eyes again and the blond noticed. He had caught the man staring at his lips multiple times since returning from the island, during training or at the cafeteria. 

Friedrich positively smoldered with anger at his teasing smirk.

“Officer, are you trying to seduce me? Or are you just trying to get me to suck your cock again?”

The man’s eyes widened and his hand flew up to Zeke’s throat, slamming him back against the bookcase, voice threatening. “Shut your filthy mouth, you fucking whore.”

“Oof...” Zeke’s head bumped roughly and he winced, rubbing it. “No reason to be so roug-” He was suddenly shoved towards his desk and his hip knocked into it painfully. “ _Ow,_ I said...!”

Friedrich didn’t let him protest, tugging his hair and shoving him face down onto the desk, bending him forcibly over it. “You spread your legs for every man like a fucking prostitute,” he seethed, his voice shaking with anger and something desperate and crazed. “Tormenting me with that _cursed_ mouth.”

Zeke didn’t even have time to react as the man pressed him down and forced his fingers inside Zeke’s mouth. The blond jolted, choking around the fingers pushing between his lips.

Friedrich’s other hand was hurriedly undoing Zeke’s belt and tugging his pants roughly so they dropped around his ankles. His breathing was fervent and wanting as he thrusted his fingers over his tongue, coating them in Zeke’s drool. The blond’s limbs started to tremble when he felt the hard bulge pressing into his backside, eyes lidding. _Oh_. The man’s fingers were covered in Zeke’s saliva and he drew them out, the blond letting out a wet gasp as strings of drool connected them. 

And then immediately those wet fingers were probing into Zeke’s tight entrance.

Zeke groaned breathlessly at the pain as they forced themselves inside him, stretching him too quickly, too savagely. The man just shoved them in - he was so _tight_ \- thrusting them in and out and twisting them, panting heavily with arousal.

“Oh,” Zeke laughed breathily, his head falling to the desk beneath him. “You figured out my special ass-wiping technique.”

Friedrich jabbed his digits in harshly and made him yelp, slapping his other hand over Zeke’s mouth and grasping tightly. “Shut _up_.”

The fingers inside him left even though he was still much too tight and he heard a zipper. Then immediately felt the fat head of the man’s cock forcing itself into him. He groaned muffledly around the hand over his mouth, the intense burning of his hole stretching too quickly. He groaned breathlessly and his eyes widened, sweaty forehead pressing against the desk and fingers scratching. The man was brutal, forcing his hips inwards and sinking inside, groaning at the warmth and tightness squeezing him. His hand pushed at Zeke’s lower back to keep him down and Zeke was sure that the skin of his hole had torn.

He sunk all the way in until his hips were pressed right up against Zeke’s backside and he let out a low sigh, circling lightly. Zeke was trembling from the painful stretch, spine taut and choking onto the hand pressed tightly against his mouth.

And then he started moving. Drawing his hips back and snapping them forward, beginning to thrust violently. Zeke whined and his body rocked with the movements, the desk rattling beneath them. The man’s dick was long and curved lightly, a perfect thickness that stretched his hole around it and Zeke’s eyes lidded despite the pain, his cock twitching between his legs.

“Eldian devil... your filthy mouth and those cursed eyes...” Friedrich sounded depraved, gritting his teeth and forcing out the words. “Just begging me to bend you over and ruin you...” The man pressed him down and leaned over him, free hand reaching around to grasp Zeke’s dick bobbing between his legs. He squeezed it meanly, painfully, and Zeke clenched and his eyes watered as he whimpered. His hole was tightening around his cock and the man hissed and his hips stuttered, before gritting his teeth and giving a particularly brutal thrust, hips smacking harder.

“Mmmgghhh.” Zeke moaned muffledly, trying to rub himself pathetically into the tight fist around his dick.

The man’s thrusts were too rough, stabbing into him, jolting Zeke’s body each time and rocking the desk beneath him. The musky smell of sex was permeating the room, his movements harsh and punishing, pressing his hips in tight against Zeke’s ass each time and puncturing him deep inside.

With every stroke in and every stoke out, the tip of that curved cock would drag against Zeke’s prostate, swollen and throbbing with his arousal. They had only used spit as lube and Zeke’s skin dragged painfully; he was sure he was bleeding but it felt so _good_. The pain was mouth-watering, he hadn’t had a cock like this in ages, ravaging his insides and making him shudder all over. He felt that familiar curling of his toes when the soldier rubbed his prostate and the pressure intensified in his groin. But the man’s hand was squeezing tightly around the base of Zeke’s penis and he moaned muffledly, scratching at the desk beneath him.

“Worthless cock-sleeve.” Friedrich was breathless, wild with arousal as he panted in Zeke’s ear. “You take my cock like you were made for it.”

It felt like praise to Zeke in his fucked out pleasure and it took him by surprise, eyes scrunching as his body went tight, toes curling into the floor. The man’s dick pressed into his prostate and rubbed against it with another brutal smack of his hips, and the wave of pleasure swallowed him, crashed into him and his eyes were watering as the orgasm consumed him. But the man’s hand was still squeezing his base, and even though the pleasure overwhelmed him, his penis simply twitched frustratedly and nothing came out. It was much more intense than a normal orgasm and he just writhed and it throbbed, scrabbling at the desk and biting the hand on his mouth.

Friedrich winced as Zeke clenched around him impossibly tight and squeezed him. The blond’s cock was twitching pathetically in his fist and he stared down at the heaving back below him in bewilderment. “Did you just...?” The blond had come dry, he hadn’t even known men were capable of such a thing. Zeke was shaking from the pleasure and sniffling and drooling into his hand, barely able to hold himself up.

The man groaned, the feeling of Zeke’s insides warm and tight around him, and he quickened his pace as Zeke just moaned pathetically. He swore under his breath, his balls tightening and he desperately smacked his hips against his ass a few more times before he went stiff. He pressed himself down hard against Zeke’s body, plunging his hips as deep as they could go. He panted and cursed, hips twitching as he finally released with a loud groan.

Zeke felt the hot rush of semen inside him, a long, warm spurt that made a shiver run down his whole spine. The man’s hips smacked jerkily against him again and he felt another warm spurt, and another. He was fading in and out, lightheaded and struggling to breathe, his knees shaking violently at the intensity of his dry orgasm.

The man circled his hips to prolong his release, groaning lowly and slowing. There were a few long moments as they came down, the only sound in the quiet room being both of their panting. Friedrich finally peeled himself away from Zeke’s back and his voice was utterly disdainful, all the heavy arousal from moments before disappeared. 

“To think. You can cum without even ejaculating. You really are a fucking whore.” 

He finally released his painful grip from around the base of Zeke’s cock and his other hand from over his mouth and the blond gasped like he’d been punched, panting with relief. His cock was already softening and he jolted in surprise at the feeling of Friedrich’s member sliding out of him wetly, and following soon after, the sticky semen he had released inside. It dripped out of him onto the floor between his legs, and Zeke looked down at it, the sheer volume of it sliding down his thighs.

The soldier took a half-step back and Zeke jolted weakly as he felt him pinch the skin of the blond’s ass and thighs, forcing him to spread them wider and rise up on his tiptoes, so the man could see inside.

Zeke’s hole was red, puffy and raw, stretched lewdly to twice it’s normal size. The white, creamy liquid was dripping and spilling out obscenely and Friedrich’s face twisted into a sneer, shoving two of his fingers inside and churning them around roughly.

Zeke’s eyes went wide and choked at the feeling, panting and staring down at the floor as globs of white dripped in thick splatters on the floor between his legs.

Friedrich watched the blond’s reaction, the way his knees shook and spine went taut, clenching around his fingers weakly. He drew his eyebrows together in scorn and drew his fingers out of Zeke’s messy hole. He studied them for a moment distastefully then wiped them on Zeke’s shirt, before slapping him once on his bare ass just to make Zeke jolt again. 

He buckled up his pants and left him there exhausted and panting, walking over to the door. He paused at the doorway, smoothing the lapels of his uniform and looking back over his shoulder at the blond still bent over his desk. He paused for a moment before scoffing.

“Easier than a whore. Cheaper, too,” he mused, before lowering his voice darkly. "I _will_ find out what you're doing." Then he opened the door and swiftly walked out, the door banging shut behind him.

The room was suddenly quiet, nothing but the sound of Zeke’s own heavy breathing as he listened to Friedrich’s heavy footsteps fade away. He straightened up slowly, wincing at the pain between his legs and held his lower back with his hand, raising one foot and looking down at the mess. 

He stepped out of his pants, limping over to the adjoining bathroom wearing just his shirt, semen still sliding down his thighs.

He sat in his bathtub with the water running down the drain, his legs open and fingers inside himself to clean it out, scooping out the semen. His hole was sore, steam rising from his body as it began to heal. Friedrich had released heavily, there was a lot; he had used him as a complete toy, and the thought made Zeke warm and heady.

He barely felt shame when his cock hardened from the feeling of his own fingers and he used his other hand to stroke his shaft lightly. He fingered himself and pressed against his own prostate firmly, his body automatically curling in on itself at the feeling as he closed his eyes, letting out a long, pleasurable groan. His legs twitched every time he pressed it and he stroked his cock in time, panting hotly. It didn't take long for him to spurt into his fist and he groaned in relief at the feeling of ejaculating instead of the dry orgasm from before. He watched the creamy liquid circle and slide down the drain and leaned his head back against the tiled wall with a _thump_.

He thought of how Friedrich had called him those names, been so wild with arousal and wanting him so badly, had told him he was _made_ to take his cock. It had made Zeke excited, pushed him over the edge to hear someone so depraved for him.

He covered his mouth with his hand, the manic smile he couldn't suppress, shutting his eyes tightly. 

He had said he had wanted to ruin him.

And god, how Zeke wanted to be ruined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Why is Zeke such a hoe,” the author asked as she enthusiastically wrote about Zeke getting fucked for the tenth time.


	8. degrade me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zeke grows numb as he waits for contact from Paradis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for _questionable_ use of a gun, cock slapping, cum play and very rough sex.

The first fleet of scouting ships set off with Yelena on board, along with her handsome dark-skinned second-in-command and the rest of the Volunteers disguised amongst them. The ships were loaded with dozens of crates of tainted wine and Zeke was satisfied that none of the Marleyan soldiers seemed to protest to the sheer amount of it; much more than was realistically needed. 

Yelena and Onyankopon had stolen as many serums as they could from the military, smuggling them on board, and Zeke had provided them with stolen folders of classified information that they were to relay to Paradis once they arrived. Detailed information on the Beast, Armored, Jaw and Cart Titans along with the shifters within them, the number of currently serving Marleyan soldiers and their formations, blueprints of their weaponry and technologies. It was all for the sake of freeing Paradis, stuck a century behind the rest of the modern world. 

It occurred to Zeke belatedly that he was betraying his comrades, selling out his allies whom he had fought alongside for more than a decade. But as he looked around the table at Reiner, Porco, Pieck, Colt and Magath, he was mutedly aware that he didn’t feel much at all. He just felt numb. His fingers barely shook any more these days and he wondered why.

Falco and Gabi were enthusiastic little candidates along with Udo and Zofia, competing with each other for top marks. Colt had been formally chosen as Zeke’s successor and was now allowed into classified meetings with him and the higher-ups, preparing him as the next inheritor. The Grice family was officially alleviated of any suspicion caused by their uncle nineteen years ago. Colt was a polite and intelligent young man and he looked up to Zeke with pure admiration in his eyes. Zeke couldn’t help but feel a bit soft towards him, ruffling his hair and congratulating him, inviting him out to play catch ball.

Throwing the baseball back and forth, Zeke wondered if this was what being an older brother felt like. He yearned to see Eren, missed him despite the awareness that he barely knew him. Perhaps he was lonely, but he wasn’t really sure.  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Zeke’s sexual relationship with Friedrich continued after that first time in Zeke’s room. The man was brutal and mean, almost punishing with his treatment of the blond, as if he was daring Zeke to attack him or hurt him back so that the military would feed him to the next warrior candidate. But Zeke was positively weak to the pain, adored the feeling of being used, being wanted, even if it wasn’t out of love but instead out of disdain.

The soldier would show up in his room uninvited, push him down forcefully onto the bed, tugging at his hair roughly. Zeke would just grin breathlessly, obediently bending over with a sultry look over his shoulder.

“Always so rough. What will you do if I start liking it?”

Friedrich would just scowl, fisting his hair and ripping at his clothes with a low, “ _Shut up._ ”

Zeke’s face pressed into his pillows, on his knees with his ass in the air. Friedrich took him from behind, the position just as degrading as his words were. The rhythmic loud slapping noises of skin hitting skin echoed in the room and Zeke didn’t bother keeping his voice down, moaning at the brutal pace that his body could barely handle. The man’s curved cock was forcing itself inside him and Zeke couldn’t stop the tears welling in his eyes, jaw slack and erection drooling relentlessly, trying to spread his legs impossibly wider to hump the bedsheets beneath him.

Friedrich’s grip on him was bruising, pulling him by the hair and spanking him for trying to rub himself against the sheets, until his ass was red and raw and throbbing.

“Dirty slut,” he spat, smacking him again and Zeke jerked, pale ass bouncing. He pinched meanly at the red skin of Zeke’s hole, stretched obscenely around his dick. “Filthy whore...!” He rubbed at it and flicked it, alternating between groping his ass and spanking it, and Zeke’s dick released another glob of pre-come as his ass jiggled, whole body shaking with pleasure. 

His hips smacked against Zeke’s backside over and over, his cock hitting those places that made the blond whine and choke. The man had his hand on the back of Zeke’s sweaty neck like a claim of ownership, pressing him down into the mattress, his other hand preventing the blond from humping the sheets. “I didn’t say you could get yourself off, you desperate slut.”

Zeke’s ass was bright red and throbbing as the man spanked him again, and he just moaned muffledly into his pillow. The mix of pain and pleasure was dizzying and he knew Friedrich wouldn’t stop the brutal pace and hard smacks until he whined and spurted onto the sheets beneath him.  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The military lost contact with the first fleet of scouting ships that Yelena had infiltrated as planned. Marley sent a second fleet and a third, losing contact with each, and Zeke acted unaware, supporting the decisions of the higher-ups to continue sending more. War with the Mid-Eastern Alliance was suddenly upon them, and Marley relocated the Warrior and Eldian units from Liberio and further into the mainland, away from headquarters to fight.

Zeke took the opportunity and planned a meeting with Kiyomi of the Hizuru clan in secret, handing over the mechanical device he had stolen from the soldier he killed on Paradis. The older woman was intelligent, but Zeke had done his research and took advantage of the clan’s greedy nature to strike a deal with her. All the riches of trading iceburst stone would be hers, as long as she could meet with the Paridisians and relay Zeke’s fifty-year plan to them.

Kiyomi read through the conditions he had prepared, eyes skimming the page, and paused at the third and final condition. “ _The member of the royal bloodline will inherit the Beast Titan from Zeke Jaeger and should conceive as many children as possible before their thirteen year lifespan is over._ ” She looked to Zeke curiously, her eyes crinkled with age. “I hope you don’t mind me asking. Why not yourself? You haven’t made any children of your own despite knowing of your royal blood. The people of Paradis will ask the same, I’m sure.”

Zeke scratched his ear, smiling coolly. He had expected this, preparing an answer that wouldn’t reveal his true goals. “It’s important for future inheritors and any subsequent royal children to be from Paradis. I may have royal blood but I’m not Paradisian. After I’m gone, the royal bloodline needs to be kept within the island. Also...” He smiled crookedly. “I’m gay, ma’am. Ladies terrify me. Never gone near one in my life. If you know what I mean.”

There was a silence as Kiyomi and her group of henchmen behind her stared dumbly at him in shock. Until Kiyomi suddenly broke into loud, tittering laughter, holding her hand daintily to her mouth. Zeke scratched the back of his head sheepishly as she wiped the tears from her eyes and smiled at him, still chuckling. “I’ll be sure to let them know.”  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


They had won a battle against the Mid-Eastern Alliance on sea and Zeke had been called in to General Calvi’s office. When he was finally finished he was fucked out and tired, been forced to orgasm three times in succession. He just got back to his room when Friedrich stormed in, grasping Zeke’s wrist and forcing it up to eye-level. He glared at the rope burns on his wrists, face twisting darkly, shoving him backwards onto the bed and causing Zeke to stumble and trip over his feet.

Friedrich tore off his clothes angrily, revealing the rope burns around his arms and legs and torso. “You’re disgusting,” he hissed.

“Mm...” Zeke laughed breathlessly, removing his glasses and rubbing his face, pushing his sweaty locks away from his forehead. “Say that again.”

The soldier punished him that day, taking out his handgun and fucking Zeke with it. He forced the barrel inside him without stretching him properly first, and the wet slide of metal in and out made Zeke jerk and twitch uncontrollably. He could barely breathe, already fucked out from earlier with General Calvi, and yet his dick got hard anyway. He laughed bewilderedly, almost crazedly, looking down at his erection rising towards his stomach with wide eyes. He didn’t even know if Friedrich had unloaded the gun first, all he could hear was that obscene wet slide of metal and the intense buzzing in his ears.

“I can’t believe you’re getting hard from this,” Friedrich sneered, and Zeke’s toes curled, gaping at the ceiling and body twitching. He felt like he was going insane, his body sheened with sweat. Friedrich fisted his hair and the pain shot through the blond’s scalp, when he suddenly slapped Zeke hard across the face. The man laughed as Zeke’s head whipped to the side as it was struck and stars burst in his vision. His mind went white as the pain erupted, blooming and inflaming his skin with heat. He sucked in air desperately as he forced himself to breathe again, his cock bobbing with excitement. His nose had started bleeding, dripping onto the white sheets, and he stared at it dazedly, unsure if it was from being hit or from his overwhelming arousal. He spread his legs wider and arched his back as the gun continued thrusting in and out, his tongue lolling and whining pathetically, feeling dizzy.

“Fucking slut,” Friedrich laughed breathily, voice dark and heavy. “So desperate for a cock to fill you up, you’ll take anything.”

The gun’s barrel slid out from inside him suddenly and Zeke blinked blearily and smeared the blood on his nose with his fist, panting heavily and curling his fingers at the empty feeling. There was the sound of a belt buckle and then Friedrich shoved his dick inside him, sliding it in firmly without pause and the stretch was mouth-wateringly painful.

Zeke moaned pathetically at the fullness, chest heaving with his breaths and Friedrich slapped him across the face again, a sneer on his lips. A sob erupted from Zeke’s chest, limbs shaking and jerking and erection twitching and leaking pre-come. He couldn’t see through the stars and the tears in his eyes, blinking through the pain and tasting blood.

“You love this, huh?” Friedrich leaned back and stroked Zeke’s dick a few times, holding his ankle with the other to keep his legs open. Then he slapped Zeke’s cock with his open palm and the blond almost _squealed_ , the bright burst of pain overwhelming and making his whole body tense, his dick so hard that it hurt. He fumbled blindly for the man to stop, voice breaking in his throat, but Friedrich pushed his hands away firmly and slapped his cock again. Zeke sobbed and curled inwards and his dick twitched, aching and confused and not any less hard. “Fucking masochist.”

The man started flicking the head of Zeke’s dick with the flats of his nails, mean little pinches all over and the blond was so overstimulated that he felt like he might black out. Friedrich slapped his cock again and the orgasm took Zeke by surprise, his lower half pooled with throbbing fire and ebbing over until it crashed into him, making his whole body shake uncontrollably.

Friedrich arched his body and pushed himself in as deep as he could go, releasing inside with thick spurts. His hips were still thrusting languidly and milking his orgasm when he leaned down to Zeke’s ear, his voice low and breathy. "If you were a woman, your belly would be swollen with my children by now.” The words made Zeke dizzy and his throat go dry, blood from his nose staining the sheets red. The thought of having children repulsed him and yet those cruel words made his cock twitch. He whimpered and shook, unable to stop his dick from spurting some more.

The man liked to fill him up like that, pulling their sweaty bodies apart, only to enter him once more while he was still warm and wet inside and fill him up again. He had an obsession with it, a fixation, the way the creamy liquid would spill out of Zeke’s hole obscenely. He would force it back in with his fingers, plugging him up, and Zeke couldn’t stop thinking about his words, running circles around inside his head.  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Afterwards, Zeke reached for his cigarettes, wearing nothing but his open shirt. Cum was still oozing from between his legs and soaking the bedsheets beneath him and his face was still bloody from his nosebleed, staining his shirt. His hair was a sweaty mess and his body was purple and bruised from Friedrich and General Calvi’s rough treatment. He was meant to report to Magath and the other warriors and candidates soon, but he felt drained and exhausted, his body lacking the energy to regenerate itself.

Friedrich was still there for once, using a wet towel from Zeke’s bathroom to wipe down his gun, looking incredibly prim for someone who had just finished fucking.

Zeke took a drag of his cigarette, watching the soldier inspect his handgun dutifully. He unloaded the chamber before replacing the bullets again and Zeke’s eyes went wide. “ _Fuck’s_ sake... You didn’t unload it?”

Friedrich’s eyes slid to him boredly, closing the chamber. “Why would I?”

“Oh, I don’t know, so you don’t shoot my dick off?”

“Why would that matter?” The man glowered. “You’re a fucking monster who regenerates anyway.”

“Jesus Christ.” Zeke ran his hand through his hair, rubbing his face exasperatedly. “I’m not _immortal_ , you could have shot me in the head...”

Friedrich scowled. “You’re such a noisy whore, just shut up.” He threw the wet towel at Zeke’s face. “And wipe your fucking nose.”

Zeke just gaped at him, ash from his cigarette dropping onto the sheet. He sighed, too exhausted, and just wiped at his nose, looking down at the towel now stained with red. “Why are you always so mean?” He pulled the ash tray onto the bed towards him, tapping his cigarette into it. “I thought you liked noisy whores.” 

Friedrich ignored him and finished cleaning his gun, putting it away. Zeke offered him a cigarette half-heartedly, not really expecting him to accept, but surprisingly, he did this time. He lit it and leaned back against the headboard next to him, the ashtray between them.

Zeke had been particularly careful since that first time the man had forced his way into his room. He hadn’t slipped up at all, had given no one any reason to suspect him. But Friedrich still watched him too closely during meetings, like he was just waiting for the Eldian devil to reveal his true colours.

But the longer their sexual relationship continued, the more Zeke realized the man was self-loathing and prideful, hated himself for lusting over an Eldian, rather than suspicious of Zeke for something specifically. If he truly knew something and doubted Zeke’s loyalty to Marley, he would have reported him by now. But instead he kept forcing his way into his room; into his body, instead.

Zeke eyed the side of his face, the prominent jawline and straight nose, and sucked his teeth. “So no boyfriend then, Officer? I would think with a face like yours, you wouldn’t need to be fucking an ‘Eldian devil’ like me.”

Friedrich looked over at him and wrinkled his nose, blowing out smoke. “I’m not gay.”

The blond blinked at him confusedly, opening his mouth and closing it again. Did he... did he think Zeke was a woman...? ”...Officer, I know I’m pretty, but not _that_ pretty.” He tugged at the blond bushy strands on his chin. “I really thought the beard would be a giveaway.” He gestured down at his soft member between his legs. “Maybe the dick too.”

Friedrich breathed out in annoyance, as if the very sound of the blond’s voice was a nuisance to him, tapping his cigarette into the astray. “I fuck you because you’re an easy lay. A filthy Eldian whore who sucks cock for free.” He looked him in the eyes condescendingly, like he was looking at a creature beneath his boot. “That’s all you are.”

Zeke sniffed and wiped at his nose again, pink and sore from his nosebleed. He didn’t even know what he had been expecting. “Well, alright then.”

A silence followed as they both finished their cigarettes. They could hear faint laughter and yelling outside, the warrior unit playing with the candidates. They would need to meet with Magath shortly. Friedrich turned to the bedside table beside him, at the pair of glasses folded neatly on top of a book.

“You’re very protective of your glasses,” he stated suddenly, tone unreadable. 

Zeke squinted at him, unsure if the man was insulting him or not.

Friedrich turned back to him, studying his face curiously for a moment. Zeke felt his pulse flutter strangely when the man said abruptly, “You look better without them.”

They stared at each other for a beat too long, Zeke’s habitual witty retort stuck in his throat. The man was leaning in towards him and Zeke could have sworn he was about to kiss him. But instead Friedrich just smirked cruelly and the blond’s heart dropped. “It’s a shame you’re an Eldian devil.”

His fingers were probing at Zeke’s entrance, at the semen that was oozing out, and the blond jolted at the feeling, eyes dropping between his legs.

“Don’t... what are yo-” He was cut off as the soldier used his fingers and smeared his own cum over Zeke’s lips, like a fucked up lip gloss, and all Zeke could do was stare in shock.

“Gross.” Friedrich smirked, disgusted. 

He stood up from the bed, adjusting his uniform and gun in its holster then walking over to the door. “Clean yourself up. Commander Magath is expecting us. I’m not covering for you if you’re late.”

The door slammed shut behind him and Zeke just stared after him, swallowing thickly and brows furrowing. He used his sleeve to wipe desperately at his lips, to get rid of that bitter taste that wouldn’t leave no matter how much he tried.  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Almost thirty scouting ships had disappeared when he finally heard from Yelena. The Volunteers had been successful, making contact with the island and bringing them technology from Marley, helping them to build a railway and harbour. They now had telephones and photographs and a way to reach the outside world, and Kiyomi had met with them and relayed Zeke’s conditions and fifty-year plan.

Paradis was mistrustful of him, Yelena informed him, but it was only a matter of time. She had met with Eren in secret and he had told her he would travel to Marley.

Zeke splashed cold water on his face, staring at himself in the mirror, the water droplets clinging to his eyelashes. 

He looked so much like Grisha it made him sick.

He wiped his face with a towel, burying his face in it and calming his breathing. 

Eren was coming to Marley. 

He couldn't stop the flutter of his heartbeat, the rhythm of his pulse like a butterfly's wings.

Right before that butterfly has its wings ripped right off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The real reason Levi caught up to Zeke in the forest is because the clap of Zeke’s ass cheeks alerted him that he was escaping. That ass is thicc.


End file.
